Jakes DMSI 3.2B - *Closed!*

[Jake2015]

Update (excuse the language - read at your own peril)

Nothing directly related to 3.2 but putting it here so can see how things change in the future....

so procrastinating on study even though I have a test on tuesday and have a little minor test tomorrow.

Instead ive spent hours and hours watching youtube videos and reading information on the best study routines and skills and strategies and its all making sense.

I have a much better idea, of how to now maturely set my weekly schedule for study and play and also what to do in the time I allocate to study itself.

Somehow when i was a kid study was easy, learning was easy, the drive to learn was super high as its always been but it was effortless and probably according to what I have ready due to how a child is in the theta state and its easier to trigger long term potentiation of neurons thus create memories etc.

For some reason by high school it all fell apart, I actually forgot how to study, I didnt just forget I got confused as if I had never studied before and nothing seemed to work.

I couldnt focus, I was always angry and I couldnt get it done.

I recall at around age 15 I came into history class, and we had covered some aspect of the russian government before the WWs and I totally forgot we ever covered this the year before. The teacher and my class were in shock and puzzled but so was I because I had absolutely no idea we had covered any of this. It slowly came back to me, that perhaps we had but not concretly.

It was as if I wasnt there ever in class and I was lost to be honest as to what happened.

Ever since then things got from bad to worse really.

I didnt know how to study, when I would sit to study all I would do is do the homework problems from the book, that the teacher had assigned or do work on an essay or whatever the homework was.

Beyond that nothing and I didnt know what I was supposed to do, if anything I was in a rigid mindset that why do anything more since the teacher never set it. I was under the false illusion that homework was ONLY that which was set to us to do, rather than understanding or being told/taught/explained that the teacher sets some homework for you to do but to master anything you need to do your own extra work on it and not just on that day for regulary throughout the week.

Man im letting it all out as I type this so sorry for anyone reading this expecting some TID to take place or expecting me to be fucking a super hot 11 but oh well this is life lol

I remember how teachers at my school were fucking useless. I would ask for help and id get nothing, and if I got told anything it would be the most simplest explanation that when I pushed for further clarity all they did was fucking repeat it, it was as if they didnt want me to succeed the bastards!

I passed exams and I was always better than hopeless, how and why I wont ever really know but it was mass cramming usually and long heavy hours into the night.

I always thought if you worked had to the point that you felt it was hard perspiring effort and you burned that midnight oil then you are a good student and working hard. MAN ITS ALL BULLSHIT!!!

After my research, and im still to watch some more videos but im pretty much clear now on what to do, but after my research so far im alot less worried and more now focused on figuring out how to apply all these nuggets of gold I have found and understood.

The information was confusing to me because I would read 2 chapters from a book and be confused, then seek out tutors and educators and coaches and keep at it. Now finally the proverbial penny has dropped and like the sound of the bucket that was pushed down the well of moiria by the fool of a tuck in Lord of the Rings, I now feel that there is finally some light at the end of the tunnel.

Should anyone in my situation seek some advice on how to study feel free to PM me and ill direct you to the books and videos, so as not to cause any violations of rules here unless im advised its ok to do it here in this thread.

Anyway even though I have tests coming up for which im worried I rather still focus on making sure I get all this right so that I can then make sure the next coming 14 weeks or so of this semester go better than usual.

thanks for readng and oh yes im also procrastinating alot by going online to a dating site thats free in the UK and simply messaging random people (copy & paste introduction) and seeing who takes the bait and so far there have been some that are replying but I cannot as yet say this is 3.2 as ive been doing this for a few years and its just how I avoid study I think lol



Additional Edit : I just came back to read the above just to see how it read and something else came to mind. I was struggling in high school as per above and around age I dunno im guessing 13 or 14 again, I tried to study hard for the exams.

I mean I put effort into learning and trying to succeed.

In history the date of the plague that hit london in the past was lets say 1488. However in 1 and only 1 class handout it clearly said 1487. During the exam I went with this date and I even made it clear that both dates were given.

The teacher marked it wrong and later when he gave the papers back and I challenged him on it the dickhead said well its wrong even though it was HIS handout from which I got the dates.

In this same year, in a class of 23, I moved up the ranks by 9 positions. 9 whole places, from lets say being 19 in class to 10th.

I was over the moon and my class teacher congratulated me, yet and I could see he was feeling ashamed or guilty, but the annual award for achievement and excellence was given to another boy in my class who moved from 3 to position 2 in the class.

I didnt challenge it, at that age I didnt do that but I should have and if a time machine is ever made ill go back and challenge the fucking lot of them!!

Yeh im pissed off now, cos its not on I deserved it more.

In this same fucking year of exams I also recall how in maths my mind went blank, I didnt know jack shit. I now know that that is usually due to cramming.

Academia has affected my performance and my self worth it seems all this time and I hate it - shannon fix me man!!!! lol



ANOTHER EDIT:
Ive just realised that the reason I have sleep issues in that I stay up late and want to sleep late and thus wake up late, is because I am procrastinating on things. I procrastinate on study and therefore im procrastinating on life. This can be the only logical connection.

Why am I procrastinating?

Could it be fear or could it be - well why bother, its not gnna matter im not gonna do well because no one cares - stemming from the above bullshit excuses for teachers?

Is this progress that Shannon was speaking of, where im getting revelations and I try to figure out when things went wrong, hoping that my next leap will be the leap home (quantum leap homage lol)