07-14-2021, 07:30 AM
Day 56/180 ON #1- Tues 13 July - part 2
9) Was a fairly productive day yesterday and nothing else to note. Did want to sleep again spent time in bed on youtube videos but yes I did have blue light filter on phone so again that countered any sleep issues coming from blue light but I just didnt want to sleep and didnt feel tired.
Thats all I remember
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Day 57/180 ON #2- Wed 14 July
1) I slept and had a dream. The dream was about the girl who I had oneitis about. Anyone following my journals will know about her. Anyway the dream I cant recall fully but was weird. She got pregnant and was running away to China and I wasnt the father and here family were going crazy about it and I was trying to not lose here. What does all this mean ive no idea :/
2) I woke from the dream not in the best of moods and found that she had posted a snap on snapchat, because I went looking for her. I cant see the snap unless I open it even though im not on here snapchats friends, instead she comes up in the subscription feeds if any of know then you know what I mean. Anyway I didnt open the snap as then it would show I had viewed.
I did want to message and tell her I had had a nightmare about her but I resisted and eventually realised this would just be very beta of me and not at all good so didnt and then throughout the day I went back to normal in the sense of shes a ship that sailed and no point trying to get on that deck. lol
3) I woke up late though. I naturally again woke at 7am but thought no go to sleep longer until my 8am goal comes around. Well i couldnt get up even though I was in and out of sleep until 8.45am I think again. I havent fapped in weeks and then did. I am mentioning this incase it is resistance.
4) Got out of bed, had my wash then decided to make a fried egg breakfast. After this got on with my day. So productive morning but its got harder to focus and stay productive as the day continued today. its not been great thats for sure.
5) Diarrhoea is strong as ever, must be atleast 7 days if not 10 or 14. I just never paid it any attention. Could it be the sub? could it be the sleep minerals and aids I have at night. Such as ZMA, magnesium, melatonin, L-Glutamine, Ashwagandha and an antihistamine. Not all together lol just spread over 3hours.
Anyway I clearly cannot focus on work or anything so im going to watch the last episode of a tv show I watch and then chill but yeah todays been 50/50.
day of rest tomorrow from the sub.
9) Was a fairly productive day yesterday and nothing else to note. Did want to sleep again spent time in bed on youtube videos but yes I did have blue light filter on phone so again that countered any sleep issues coming from blue light but I just didnt want to sleep and didnt feel tired.
Thats all I remember
----
Day 57/180 ON #2- Wed 14 July
1) I slept and had a dream. The dream was about the girl who I had oneitis about. Anyone following my journals will know about her. Anyway the dream I cant recall fully but was weird. She got pregnant and was running away to China and I wasnt the father and here family were going crazy about it and I was trying to not lose here. What does all this mean ive no idea :/
2) I woke from the dream not in the best of moods and found that she had posted a snap on snapchat, because I went looking for her. I cant see the snap unless I open it even though im not on here snapchats friends, instead she comes up in the subscription feeds if any of know then you know what I mean. Anyway I didnt open the snap as then it would show I had viewed.
I did want to message and tell her I had had a nightmare about her but I resisted and eventually realised this would just be very beta of me and not at all good so didnt and then throughout the day I went back to normal in the sense of shes a ship that sailed and no point trying to get on that deck. lol
3) I woke up late though. I naturally again woke at 7am but thought no go to sleep longer until my 8am goal comes around. Well i couldnt get up even though I was in and out of sleep until 8.45am I think again. I havent fapped in weeks and then did. I am mentioning this incase it is resistance.
4) Got out of bed, had my wash then decided to make a fried egg breakfast. After this got on with my day. So productive morning but its got harder to focus and stay productive as the day continued today. its not been great thats for sure.
5) Diarrhoea is strong as ever, must be atleast 7 days if not 10 or 14. I just never paid it any attention. Could it be the sub? could it be the sleep minerals and aids I have at night. Such as ZMA, magnesium, melatonin, L-Glutamine, Ashwagandha and an antihistamine. Not all together lol just spread over 3hours.
Anyway I clearly cannot focus on work or anything so im going to watch the last episode of a tv show I watch and then chill but yeah todays been 50/50.
day of rest tomorrow from the sub.
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
