06-13-2021, 05:28 AM
26/180
Day 26 ON - Sunday June 13 - OFF #1 - part 1
ok so as you know I listened to the sub today on my day off.
Tomorrow I will take a day off so it will be 1 day off then back to 2 days on and 2 days off. (why? for context read previous posts)
As has happened last couple of nights I have woken and fallen asleep immediately.
I today woke exhausted once again struggling to open my eyes.
I had a dream but fuck my life I cant remember it even though I made the effort to remember it when I woke argh! I think again the dream was violent in some way and had no connection to my real life except for the characters and scenes lol. I cant say or offer more than that im afraid. I wish I could remember. I totally forgot I even dreamt until i sat to type this.
Other than this all i can say is that I AM TIRED and SLEEPY!
I am recording things here for data but this current lifetstyle of mine isnt usual as ive said often in my posts, so my tiredness could still be related to my improper inefficient sleep cycle and schedule as well as my travelling etc. So now that I am back I want to reacclimatise myself in the next days and weeks until I have a healthy pattern again and regime.
Once that pattern and regime becomes a habit and daily practice (im speaking mostly about my sleep) then hopefully if I am still tired i myself can categorically say it is the sub doing all this which means that my subconscious and the sub are speaking thus im executing without doubts if I am etc.
I have an exam this week and I felt anxiety about it and some about the future as I thought about the future. What future I cant recall it was momentary but I think it was about graduating and working etc.
So yes anxiety is there. I think insecurity over my appearance is still there. I think not depression but regret or sadness over the past is there too as I have thought about time lost etc.
In 4 days time it will be 30 days since running this sub and I feel if i am executing then there is more than a 6months journey here considering how slow it seems to be working on me.
I dont know how this sub works but there is also the chance that it works in an exponential rate so gets faster and faster the more it works so perhaps 6 months is more than enough - this is the optimist in me stating this out loud though.
Day 26 ON - Sunday June 13 - OFF #1 - part 1
ok so as you know I listened to the sub today on my day off.
Tomorrow I will take a day off so it will be 1 day off then back to 2 days on and 2 days off. (why? for context read previous posts)
As has happened last couple of nights I have woken and fallen asleep immediately.
I today woke exhausted once again struggling to open my eyes.
I had a dream but fuck my life I cant remember it even though I made the effort to remember it when I woke argh! I think again the dream was violent in some way and had no connection to my real life except for the characters and scenes lol. I cant say or offer more than that im afraid. I wish I could remember. I totally forgot I even dreamt until i sat to type this.
Other than this all i can say is that I AM TIRED and SLEEPY!
I am recording things here for data but this current lifetstyle of mine isnt usual as ive said often in my posts, so my tiredness could still be related to my improper inefficient sleep cycle and schedule as well as my travelling etc. So now that I am back I want to reacclimatise myself in the next days and weeks until I have a healthy pattern again and regime.
Once that pattern and regime becomes a habit and daily practice (im speaking mostly about my sleep) then hopefully if I am still tired i myself can categorically say it is the sub doing all this which means that my subconscious and the sub are speaking thus im executing without doubts if I am etc.
I have an exam this week and I felt anxiety about it and some about the future as I thought about the future. What future I cant recall it was momentary but I think it was about graduating and working etc.
So yes anxiety is there. I think insecurity over my appearance is still there. I think not depression but regret or sadness over the past is there too as I have thought about time lost etc.
In 4 days time it will be 30 days since running this sub and I feel if i am executing then there is more than a 6months journey here considering how slow it seems to be working on me.
I dont know how this sub works but there is also the chance that it works in an exponential rate so gets faster and faster the more it works so perhaps 6 months is more than enough - this is the optimist in me stating this out loud though.
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
