12-03-2017, 04:28 PM
Mind was blown last night. I've realized I haven't moved on from old negative beliefs as much as I thought. It was crazy, I was in a half asleep state and it hit me that the subconscious dictates my actions. I thought of all the undesirable behavior I've exhibited and how I was running a script or program. It was a little scary to be honest because I had this awareness of just how much I was following things on autopilot. Made me realize how important it is to get things sorted on a subconscious level otherwise you're fighting a never-ending battle.
That being said, autopilot with DMSI scares me. I'm afraid I'll go insane or hurt someone or do something I'll regret. Very strong fear. Even last night I was listening to the sub and I thought I heard audible voices saying "You will obey". Then I got paranoid as hell as to what was in the sub. Maybe I was resisting so much because Shannon was secretly trying to create dependence on subs and to give him more money. I want to be clear these are my fear based delusions, but at the time they felt very real. I think there's a strong lack of trust between my conscious and subconscious.
Anyway DMSI is dragging me through everything in spite of all this. My mistake was trying to control the whole process. But now I'm learning to give up control and let my subconscious navigate. I have this intuitive understanding of things, like my success is all mapped out already. It's this knowing that I'll be successful because it already happened and now I just have to follow the direct path my subconscious has laid out. For that reason i shouldn't fear the subconscious taking control because it knows the most direct safest path and won't let anything bad happen.
I swear I'm perceiving things on a whole different level. The other day my midi keyboard wasn't working. So I just sat there and waited for an answer. Then I just followed my intuition. Turns out a file was blocked that had my parameter mapping and I knew the exact location without looking for it. Also with making music I'm not thinking about what notes to play or sounds to design, it's like my brain knows what it wants and then shows me the direct steps to get there. It's like all my problems or questions are being fed through a supercomputer and the solution is spit out for me. Almost like I'm outsourcing brain computational power. Maybe I'm getting some effects from MLS or this could just be the success programming in DMSI. Either way things have gotten interesting.
That being said, autopilot with DMSI scares me. I'm afraid I'll go insane or hurt someone or do something I'll regret. Very strong fear. Even last night I was listening to the sub and I thought I heard audible voices saying "You will obey". Then I got paranoid as hell as to what was in the sub. Maybe I was resisting so much because Shannon was secretly trying to create dependence on subs and to give him more money. I want to be clear these are my fear based delusions, but at the time they felt very real. I think there's a strong lack of trust between my conscious and subconscious.
Anyway DMSI is dragging me through everything in spite of all this. My mistake was trying to control the whole process. But now I'm learning to give up control and let my subconscious navigate. I have this intuitive understanding of things, like my success is all mapped out already. It's this knowing that I'll be successful because it already happened and now I just have to follow the direct path my subconscious has laid out. For that reason i shouldn't fear the subconscious taking control because it knows the most direct safest path and won't let anything bad happen.
I swear I'm perceiving things on a whole different level. The other day my midi keyboard wasn't working. So I just sat there and waited for an answer. Then I just followed my intuition. Turns out a file was blocked that had my parameter mapping and I knew the exact location without looking for it. Also with making music I'm not thinking about what notes to play or sounds to design, it's like my brain knows what it wants and then shows me the direct steps to get there. It's like all my problems or questions are being fed through a supercomputer and the solution is spit out for me. Almost like I'm outsourcing brain computational power. Maybe I'm getting some effects from MLS or this could just be the success programming in DMSI. Either way things have gotten interesting.
INFP
