10-19-2017, 05:38 PM
Dmsi confuses the crap out of me. I thought I was executing because I was being more resilient towards my negative thoughts and feelings. But it turns out I was running from facing deeper stuff. Last night I was struck with so much fear, I broke into a cold sweat and felt this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. It seems like sometimes I'm able to avoid the deeper stuff by convincing myself it's just rumination and instead of acknowledgement I try to will it away.
One thing is for certain, I still have a lot of stuff going on beneath the surface I'm not consciously aware of. Today after overcoming a killer migraine from the day before, I realized once again that I need to stop being anxious all the time. It all started when I sat down to make some music and realized 90% of it has become stressful for me while only 10% is enjoyment. I need to control my anxiety better and learn to do things without being overwhelmed. I've just been forcing everything and pushing, but I reached my critical point the other day and my body shutdown on me.
One thing is for certain, I still have a lot of stuff going on beneath the surface I'm not consciously aware of. Today after overcoming a killer migraine from the day before, I realized once again that I need to stop being anxious all the time. It all started when I sat down to make some music and realized 90% of it has become stressful for me while only 10% is enjoyment. I need to control my anxiety better and learn to do things without being overwhelmed. I've just been forcing everything and pushing, but I reached my critical point the other day and my body shutdown on me.
INFP
