10-10-2017, 03:41 PM
(10-09-2017, 07:02 PM)dissonance Wrote: btw jus curious, when you were doing 4 loops, did youstart to get tired at night around 2-3 hrs earlier than u normally would?
Yup, also a bit more emotional. I'm not up to date on the acronyms but I think it's P6? Basically the sub hits me before I actually listen to it. Crazy stuff.
Ok so 4 loops is intense. I'm getting some heavy emotional stuff being pulled up but I'm happy about it. I welcome the pain now because I know when I move past it I just get stronger. Car crapped out on me today. Normally I'd be losing it, but I'm so calm it's awesome.
I woke up today and just felt good. Crazy tense at work today too. One of our domain controllers went down and I had no idea what was going on. So I'm just trying to provide moral support to people who can't get their computers working. But this one manager was being nasty with me today because I couldn't fix everything fast enough. Brushed that shit off, seriously stopped caring what she thought of my competence and all that. I'm the lighting rod in this new position when stuff goes south. That's why I was hired. A few years ago I would have crumbled in this position and got down on myself. Now I don't care, I have no need to.
Feels like as I uncover more in my subconscious my life grows more hectic. Like this purge isn't just emotional. It causes ripples that effect my immediate reality. I'm getting better, that's for sure. Still have my sticking points. Still crazy anxious around people for no real reason. But I don't get down on myself about it now. There's still a lot of fear, it's kind of nuts how much of it I buried. Just makes me realize I've done pretty well for myself considering what I have to deal with on a daily basis.
INFP
