In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A

[RTBoss]

Is this the first meet-up or "date" with a girl that u met through internet dating (or whatever method it was that you met her through)?

Yup. I didn't really do anything except be myself and have fun.

Def gonna give it a watch when I get the chance. Thanks Ben.

All good, it seems you're realizing some of the same things, so if you want to chat about it at some stage or want to bounce something off me let me know.

So I met up with the girl I've been chatting with. She messaged me today asking if I felt like meeting up in person. Prior to DMSI I wouldn't have even thought about doing that. I'm dead serious, I was that afraid of women. Our banter was flirty and light, I felt some sexual tension between us. But I don't think I'm there yet or I'm still afraid of something. But as far as results go this is a huge step for me. It kind of made me realize just how avoidant I've been in the past and the excuses I made. Also made me realize I need to get out more and get away from my music from time to time. After hanging out with her I came home and thought up some great musical ideas I'm gonna work on. My life is definitely heading in a different direction and I like it.

Very cool! Especially her asking you out. Even if there was still some fear, it's a big step and the start of something new.

Will do Ben. Yeah it's nice being the one approached for once. Ideally I get better with moving things along first too, but if my future is women seducing me I can't complain lol.

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So a lot of stuff on my mind right now. I'm thinking about DMSI and how it's really sex focused. But then I'm thinking about this girl I met and she seems very committed type of relationship focused. So that brings me to my next point, dating. I've already decided I'm not going to enter a relationship until I've had some experience under my belt. And I don't mean sex. I mean learning more about what I like in women, what turns me off, what kind of games some of them can play, etc. Right now I'm trying to avoid a bad habit I've had for years, idealizing someone. It's like when I don't have good enough experience in something there's this tendency to project everything I want onto it that may not be even close to the reality.

I guess I have guilt surrounding dating multiple women even if I'm not in a committed relationship. Which really shouldn't be there. Maybe I'm worried I'll hurt someone when I'm no longer attracted to them after finding someone I like more.Maybe that's just my own insecurities with self worth I'm projecting though. But it's definitely a change in the dynamic about how I'm thinking about all this.

Better to hurt them sooner, rather than later. Sticking by an incompatible relationship out of guilt or neediness merely sets you both up for heartache down the road. To think of it another way, you are freeing the other person up to potentially meet a better match as well.