07-25-2017, 08:48 AM
Things have gotten heavy for me. I'm reading a book about shadow work. I think DMSI might have led me to it. The thing I really like about the book so far is it's the authors own experience. This isn't some book written by some guru that wanted to make a quick buck. It's her own experience and how despite all the positive thinking, affirmations, visualizations, hypnosis, etc. it helped but didn't make her feel whole. Her experience mirrors mine, I've always felt there was some piece of the puzzle I was missing and I think this is it.
I think there's a lot in me I refuse to see or outright ignore. I think part of that is fear if I acknowledge it then that's who I am. But whether I acknowledge it or not, it's there. So it's better to bring things to light and learn and forgive myself than trying to keep denying it. Carl Jung said "I'd rather be whole than good". For my whole life I've been trying to be good, trying to erase the negative aspects of myself and be this perfect person. It's caused me a lot of suffering. It's never been about striving for excellence, it's always been about running away from the parts of myself I disliked and disowned. DMSI has been bringing me face to face with these things to release them. It sounds easy and straightforward but in my experience there was always this gap or inability to own up to the fact that these parts were me. There was a lack of emotional release, despite heavy logical thought processes about what caused it and how to stop it.
I think there's a lot in me I refuse to see or outright ignore. I think part of that is fear if I acknowledge it then that's who I am. But whether I acknowledge it or not, it's there. So it's better to bring things to light and learn and forgive myself than trying to keep denying it. Carl Jung said "I'd rather be whole than good". For my whole life I've been trying to be good, trying to erase the negative aspects of myself and be this perfect person. It's caused me a lot of suffering. It's never been about striving for excellence, it's always been about running away from the parts of myself I disliked and disowned. DMSI has been bringing me face to face with these things to release them. It sounds easy and straightforward but in my experience there was always this gap or inability to own up to the fact that these parts were me. There was a lack of emotional release, despite heavy logical thought processes about what caused it and how to stop it.
