07-09-2017, 06:07 PM
(07-08-2017, 05:17 PM)Benjamin Wrote: Her acting like a kid around you is a definite sign she likes you
Thinking of women sexually is a totally natural thing, the guilt and shame is the problem. Society comes up with all this crap "oh does that mean you just care about her body" when obviously no you can appreciate other things about her, and it's best when she does have other things to appreciate, but still with that appreciating her body and her sexually is totally normal.
Afterall they spend all this time dressing up sexually, make up etc..
I have much to learn haha.
Yeah, kind of bugs me I've lived this long with this hanging over my head. Kind of glad I decided to run DMSI otherwise I never would have realized it.
Completely separate from that, my gut is telling me to run 4 loops of dmsi. So that's probably gonna be when I go to sleep at night. Will update on how that goes tomorrow. Having said that. Do any of you listen at night?
Overall noticed that I have insecurities about looking at attractive women or having them see me. At work today and I caught a couple of women kind of eyeballing me. I don't know what I'm afraid of if I meet their gaze, but it's probably along the lines of fear of rejection or something.
Also completely fed up with retail. We had this 20% off sale today, just 20% off the entire order. But what really irritated me was how impatient everyone got and how disrespectful they were towards my coworkers and I. I was on my feet for close to 9 hours and I swear if a customer wanted to criticize me or stir shit up I was going to unleash hell on them. People get so goddamn stupid and animalistic whenever there is money involved in anything. Doesn't matter they only saved 2 dollars. The whole thing just bothered me, like how is the human race this bad at times? I have this feeling that I'll do my best to describe. It's like I feel like I'm being repelled from this job and at the same time being pulled towards something better. Shielded maybe? I don't know. What I do know is in the past with this job I got sucked into it and even if I wanted to do something else it felt like this job had it's claws in me. I don't have any idea how the world works really, but I swear locations and organizations have an energy to them. And they can manipulate your energy and get inside your body and mess up your whole balance. It's like having a pure body of water and then a dump truck full of sludge and other garbage is just poured into that body of water and pollutes it. Yeah, that's just a bit of a ramble there. Makes me wonder if I'm battling things that aren't conventional wisdom and that's why I've been having such a hard time in life.
