07-08-2017, 06:44 AM
DMSI might be kicking in. Showed up at work yesterday and one of my coworkers hugged me. But she came skipping at me and pretty much tackle hugged me. I've been getting more attention from her ever since the later stages of Am6, but she's never initiated physical contact. She's older than me by about 10 years, but she acts like a little kid around me. Other coworkers are like "leave Mat alone" and she says "No, Mat loves me". Come to think of it, I had two other coworkers say the same thing. All of them in relationships, but they have this fascination with me. None of them are really my type, so I'm not gonna pursue anything. I'm pretty sure it's not really sexual attraction, more like the vibe I'm giving off of being non-judgemental and open and they like being around it. Positivity I guess?
But something else happened. I went out to my car during my break and I saw this woman walking to her car couldn't have been more than 200ft away. I'm just chilling there, I look up and it looks like she's on her phone. But she's by the back door instead of the driver door. And she's positioned in an angled way where her butt is pointed at me. Could be an IOI, could be coincidence. Hard to say. Something about it just struck me as odd, or like a gut feeling that it was a little out of place.
Another benefit of the healing, I've been making more progress learning how to make my music better. Been studying up on music theory and it's been putting all these fake rules in my head and I've been worried about making crap music. Fear is lessening so now the creative process is more enjoyable. Also not as worried about making the track I'm working on the best track ever and comparing myself to great artists.
For a sexual attraction sub, this sure does have a lot of overlap with other things in my life. Never would have guessed it.
But something else happened. I went out to my car during my break and I saw this woman walking to her car couldn't have been more than 200ft away. I'm just chilling there, I look up and it looks like she's on her phone. But she's by the back door instead of the driver door. And she's positioned in an angled way where her butt is pointed at me. Could be an IOI, could be coincidence. Hard to say. Something about it just struck me as odd, or like a gut feeling that it was a little out of place.
Another benefit of the healing, I've been making more progress learning how to make my music better. Been studying up on music theory and it's been putting all these fake rules in my head and I've been worried about making crap music. Fear is lessening so now the creative process is more enjoyable. Also not as worried about making the track I'm working on the best track ever and comparing myself to great artists.
For a sexual attraction sub, this sure does have a lot of overlap with other things in my life. Never would have guessed it.
