01-20-2015, 02:32 AM
DAY 14:
The positive feeling that I had at the start of the stage is vanishing, lets say its vanished. I am kinda depressed, lotsa doubts creeping in. Today morning I was feeling really tired despite the fact that I got enough sleep. May be its because I kept the subs running.
Lots of creepy dreams over the past few days.
This one part, I somehow found myself in a terrorist controlled area, and soon I was handed over a bazooka or something and was asked to fire at the tourists or I die. It was a terrorist infested area and for some reason tourists used that part to cross their way to some other place. Finally I took that terrorist hand (who was holding a pistol) and pointed his pistol to my forehead and asked him to go ahead and shoot me.
I don't know why I had this dream at this stage, where I am seen doing the right thing or something good. Well.
I am seeing or understanding my past mistakes, problems, success, failures, relationships, education, health , wealth, habbits, behaviour etc and linking all the dots to where I am right now.
I am jelous of a colleague who takes all the attention every time everywhere even when its shit he says, (I think its shit, but to others it may be gold) but the important thing is what I am feeling and how I react. I am not bothered about the lack of attention I get, but the amount he gets. Jelousy, I must contain this and I need to address the way I react.
I am not interested in women, nor anything else. Generally I am bored, laid back, relaxed, not interested in porn either, but being tempted to look at asses in pinterest. I have resisted the temptation. This is because I am planning to quit fapping indefinitely, but that has left me really horny and even if I move my legs while I sit I seem to get aroused very quickly. Doing my job quite okay.
Regarding food, I am eating a lot more, nutrition is better. For now I am exersicing a lot, although its just streaching. Hope to start running again later this month.
The positive feeling that I had at the start of the stage is vanishing, lets say its vanished. I am kinda depressed, lotsa doubts creeping in. Today morning I was feeling really tired despite the fact that I got enough sleep. May be its because I kept the subs running.
Lots of creepy dreams over the past few days.
This one part, I somehow found myself in a terrorist controlled area, and soon I was handed over a bazooka or something and was asked to fire at the tourists or I die. It was a terrorist infested area and for some reason tourists used that part to cross their way to some other place. Finally I took that terrorist hand (who was holding a pistol) and pointed his pistol to my forehead and asked him to go ahead and shoot me.
I don't know why I had this dream at this stage, where I am seen doing the right thing or something good. Well.
I am seeing or understanding my past mistakes, problems, success, failures, relationships, education, health , wealth, habbits, behaviour etc and linking all the dots to where I am right now.
I am jelous of a colleague who takes all the attention every time everywhere even when its shit he says, (I think its shit, but to others it may be gold) but the important thing is what I am feeling and how I react. I am not bothered about the lack of attention I get, but the amount he gets. Jelousy, I must contain this and I need to address the way I react.
I am not interested in women, nor anything else. Generally I am bored, laid back, relaxed, not interested in porn either, but being tempted to look at asses in pinterest. I have resisted the temptation. This is because I am planning to quit fapping indefinitely, but that has left me really horny and even if I move my legs while I sit I seem to get aroused very quickly. Doing my job quite okay.
Regarding food, I am eating a lot more, nutrition is better. For now I am exersicing a lot, although its just streaching. Hope to start running again later this month.
'Evolution depends on the variation within a species.'
Charles Darwin
![[Image: img?u=5271261647208448]](https://pmo-tracker.appspot.com/img?u=5271261647208448)
Charles Darwin
