07-12-2017, 12:20 AM
Day 51 (Day 19 of B version)
2 loops DMSI vb Hybrid Trickling Stream
Had a talk with my girlfriend last night, we were discussing how we were perfect for each other and how lucky we were to have each other. I asked if I could be honest with her, she said yes, and I told her that I know I could spend the rest of my life with her and be happy, but I was disappointed in myself for my lack of sexual experience (I was a virgin before her). I said I felt my lack of experience made me a shallower and less interesting person, and that I regretted that my sex life before her had been ruled by fear. That my past before her was one of cowardice.
I wanted to gauge her response, and she looked so upset I immediately felt awful for having said anything. She told me she understood, but now the seed had been planted for her that I have regrets about not having slept with other women. She told me that because she loved me and wanted me to be happy, she would want me to get some more experiences with women, because she would rather I had the experiences and then chose her after them, than spending the rest of my life with her whilst having secret regrets. She suggested we have a break, but said she wouldn't want to sleep with anybody else, so essentially she wanted to give me free reign to go out and have sex with other girls for a while.
But she looked so sad, I felt so awful for mentioning it. It also showed me how much she loved me, to be willing to do that for me, as she already feels really insecure that I might find other girls more attractive than her. I told her she got the wrong idea, and that I wouldn't want to do anything with any other women since meeting her, I was saying it was strictly how I felt about my past before meeting her.
Deep down though I think she knew why I brought it up. I'm going to leave it for a while to give her time to think and process. I'll leave it up to her, if she brings it up again of her own volition, we can discuss it, if not I'm not willing to hurt her and won't bring it up again.
2 loops DMSI vb Hybrid Trickling Stream
Had a talk with my girlfriend last night, we were discussing how we were perfect for each other and how lucky we were to have each other. I asked if I could be honest with her, she said yes, and I told her that I know I could spend the rest of my life with her and be happy, but I was disappointed in myself for my lack of sexual experience (I was a virgin before her). I said I felt my lack of experience made me a shallower and less interesting person, and that I regretted that my sex life before her had been ruled by fear. That my past before her was one of cowardice.
I wanted to gauge her response, and she looked so upset I immediately felt awful for having said anything. She told me she understood, but now the seed had been planted for her that I have regrets about not having slept with other women. She told me that because she loved me and wanted me to be happy, she would want me to get some more experiences with women, because she would rather I had the experiences and then chose her after them, than spending the rest of my life with her whilst having secret regrets. She suggested we have a break, but said she wouldn't want to sleep with anybody else, so essentially she wanted to give me free reign to go out and have sex with other girls for a while.
But she looked so sad, I felt so awful for mentioning it. It also showed me how much she loved me, to be willing to do that for me, as she already feels really insecure that I might find other girls more attractive than her. I told her she got the wrong idea, and that I wouldn't want to do anything with any other women since meeting her, I was saying it was strictly how I felt about my past before meeting her.
Deep down though I think she knew why I brought it up. I'm going to leave it for a while to give her time to think and process. I'll leave it up to her, if she brings it up again of her own volition, we can discuss it, if not I'm not willing to hurt her and won't bring it up again.
