I Ain't Happy Unless EVERYBODY'S F*CKIN'!!! -- DMSI v2.3

[chaosvrgn]

So, while typing the above, sat down and decided to eat a big ass meal. Big ass plate of Popeye's Fried Chicken and a huge cup of orange soda. Aura is projecting hard -- my entire body feels warm. I'm also a bit euphoric. Resistance has lessened, but it's still there. Might be able to get some work done today.

Unfortunately... in my haste, I took a melatonin pill, so that's gonna knock me the hell out in about an hour. Gonna wake up and see if DMSI v2.4 is out, start running that.

[Steven]

@chaosvrgn

Although I've never met you, I would miss you. Please stay with us. You have a mighty intellect and consistently contribute positively on this forum.

[RTBoss]

I'd miss you, too. But, I know that isn't an option - just a thought. And thoughts happen.

Psyched to hear about "Hell or High Water." I can't wait to see that film.

[chaosvrgn]

Thanks for the kind words, guys. I'm not going anywhere... at least not by my own will. Too much to live for to throw it all away over some bad fee-fees regarding women. That being said, this has been a very trying week emotionally. I'm really bad at evaluating my emotions, so I'm not quite sure about the interaction between v2.3 and me having a crush. This isn't the first time I've had crushes and I've NEVER experienced psycho-emotional pain on this level.

Shannon gave some really good advice about how to approach #3 that I'm actually going to take. I know a lot of guys will think that's "beta" advice, but there's a certain way you have to deliver what he said that makes it "alpha." On another note, I'm starting to hate this alpha / beta dichotomy that exists. Seems like it's more of a continuum, with the ideal mate being a man with a good mixture of "alpha" and "beta" traits. I decided that I'm going to stop worrying about being alpha and just start living -- making decisions that push my life's mission ahead, regardless of the "alphaness."

Odd thing about this resistance -- I think it goes deeper than my attraction to #3. Last night, I realized that I haven't been eating properly, so I ate a huge meal to fuel the aura. Received IMMEDIATE relief from the resistance. Got a bit euphoric, headache subsided, mood improved. Was still a little "down" on the inside, but at least I could function. Anyway, as soon as the aura started kicking in, I began to have the abundance mentality / outcome independence again. Kinda like, "it'd be nice if something happened, but if not... you'll get another chance." Leads me to believe that resistance is being caused not just by emotional intimacy issues, but also something with initiating sex and the things that go with it (self-image, self-esteem). And THAT leads me to believe that I have PHYSICAL INTIMACY issues too! And that's mind-blowing, because I've never really had a problem being physical. That is... on the surface...

Dawned on me that when I have casual sex, I tend to ingest ridiculous of Viagra. I've always told myself that it just made the whole process easier (as an INTP, my mind will wander -- QUICK) and a lot more fun, but now I'm wondering if that's a crutch for some deeper issue. I'm also realizing that I actually tend to resist women's overt sexual advances before "giving in." Hunting for me is acting crazy alpha, getting women attracted, and then making them damn near beg before I give in... and half the time, I don't even feel like f*cking.

There's a clusterfuck of issues going on in my head that I'm going to get resolved. I've been following a particular cycle... the same one that Shannon's excited about, and from what I've been researching, it's spot on. While his involves his work and personal accomplishments, this cycle affects me on a profoundly deep, personal level -- particularly, issues I apparently inherited from my mother. I've tried my absolute best to work with this cycle and against, and that's why I'm going to continue with DMSI v2.4. While my business is very important, I'm making enough to live and expand. Switching paths now, fighting against the cycle, wouldn't be wise.

That is, until October, where a breakthrough is supposed to happen...

[chaosvrgn]

Every time I run v2.3, I start getting the urge to run BASE again, lol. Then, when I stop running v2.3, I start missing it and I wanna run it again.

After v2.4, I'm gonna HAVE to buckle down. It's either BASE 4g + UM or BASE 5g. Knowing my luck, Shannon will release that 5.5g productivity suite. Honestly, that's what I REALLY want.

EDIT: For the record, "Hell or High Water" is an awesome movie. It's so simplistic and surface, but the story itself is so deep and nuanced upon reflection.

[SargeMaximus]

Hmm, not that interested in "Hell or High Water" tbh. Seemed like one of those "grisly old men" movies. Like "No Country for Old Men".

[chaosvrgn]

Hmm, not that interested in "Hell or High Water" tbh. Seemed like one of those "grisly old men" movies. Like "No Country for Old Men".

That's exactly what it is -- but those are my favorite kinds of movies. Quiet, contemplative. Stark contrast between the high-paced modern age and an era that's long gone. Old values versus new values. If that's not your type of flick, you won't enjoy a single minute of it, lol.

The acting is superb, though. Chris Pine killed it. Jeff Bridges killed it too. And that final conversation, so rich and rife with subtext. Loved it.

[SargeMaximus]

Hmm, not that interested in "Hell or High Water" tbh. Seemed like one of those "grisly old men" movies. Like "No Country for Old Men".

That's exactly what it is -- but those are my favorite kinds of movies. Quiet, contemplative. Stark contrast between the high-paced modern age and an era that's long gone. Old values versus new values. If that's not your type of flick, you won't enjoy a single minute of it, lol.

The acting is superb, though. Chris Pine killed it. Jeff Bridges killed it too. And that final conversation, so rich and rife with subtext. Loved it.

Don't get me wrong, I love deep contemplative movies too. "The Fountain" by Arronofsky comes to mind. An absolute Masterpiece. Or "Thirteen Days", one of my favorite movies of all time.

It's just these old men movies always feel "silently-lecturing" and are a turn off. Like there's only one way to see things.

[RTBoss]

Hmm, not that interested in "Hell or High Water" tbh. Seemed like one of those "grisly old men" movies. Like "No Country for Old Men".

Loved "No Country for Old Men," friendo!

[chaosvrgn]

Hmm, not that interested in "Hell or High Water" tbh. Seemed like one of those "grisly old men" movies. Like "No Country for Old Men".

That's exactly what it is -- but those are my favorite kinds of movies. Quiet, contemplative. Stark contrast between the high-paced modern age and an era that's long gone. Old values versus new values. If that's not your type of flick, you won't enjoy a single minute of it, lol.

The acting is superb, though. Chris Pine killed it. Jeff Bridges killed it too. And that final conversation, so rich and rife with subtext. Loved it.

Don't get me wrong, I love deep contemplative movies too. "The Fountain" by Arronofsky comes to mind. An absolute Masterpiece. Or "Thirteen Days", one of my favorite movies of all time.

It's just these old men movies always feel "silently-lecturing" and are a turn off. Like there's only one way to see things.

Yes, loved The Fountain. It's one of the few movies I actually own. Hell or High Water isn't nearly as "lecture-like" as No Country (although, I love No Country and I own all of Cormac McCarthy's books). The themes are much more subtle and there's an emphasis on the action and the story. It wasn't until after watching it that I realized how nuanced it was.

[SargeMaximus]

Hmm, not that interested in "Hell or High Water" tbh. Seemed like one of those "grisly old men" movies. Like "No Country for Old Men".

Loved "No Country for Old Men," friendo!

Yeah most people do, and I have no idea why. I literally fell asleep while watching it, woke up, it was still on (the part where Havier comes to the hotel) and shut the movie off shortly thereafter.

[4Kingdoms]

I ran DMSI to get laid. I could get laid before DMSI, relatively easy compared to some people, given the fact that I'm pretty brash and bold. For the past few years, that's all I've done. Bang and bolt. I used to pride myself on the fact that I only ever slept with women I knew I'd never have to see again.

Enter #3 (see my journal), who I'm actually crushing on. What happens? Even with v2.3 flowing through my synapses, it's like I'm incapable of being that bold person. Dawned on me that I have NO IDEA how to handle true intimacy -- anything beyond that bang and bolt. I definitely have intimacy issues that need to be dealt with -- issues that's keeping me from becoming a truly self-actualized male.

I wonder how many guys will buy DMSI for the same reason... to Bang -n- Bolt?? Only to end up crushing and (sigh) possibly find "the one".

If things do get serious with you and #3; you will be able to focus on BASE 4g + UM or BASE 5g until the productivity suite comes to fruition!!

[chaosvrgn]

Hmm, not that interested in "Hell or High Water" tbh. Seemed like one of those "grisly old men" movies. Like "No Country for Old Men".

Loved "No Country for Old Men," friendo!

There's a quote from No Country that actually convinced me to leave much of my old life behind. From the scene where Carson tries to Chigurh not to [SPOILERS!!!] take 'em out. [/end SPOILERS!!!"]

Carson: There are rules.
Chigurh: If the rule you followed led you to this, of what use was the rule?

[SargeMaximus]

Hmm, not that interested in "Hell or High Water" tbh. Seemed like one of those "grisly old men" movies. Like "No Country for Old Men".

That's exactly what it is -- but those are my favorite kinds of movies. Quiet, contemplative. Stark contrast between the high-paced modern age and an era that's long gone. Old values versus new values. If that's not your type of flick, you won't enjoy a single minute of it, lol.

The acting is superb, though. Chris Pine killed it. Jeff Bridges killed it too. And that final conversation, so rich and rife with subtext. Loved it.

Don't get me wrong, I love deep contemplative movies too. "The Fountain" by Arronofsky comes to mind. An absolute Masterpiece. Or "Thirteen Days", one of my favorite movies of all time.

It's just these old men movies always feel "silently-lecturing" and are a turn off. Like there's only one way to see things.

Yes, loved The Fountain. It's one of the few movies I actually own. Hell or High Water isn't nearly as "lecture-like" as No Country (although, I love No Country and I own all of Cormac McCarthy's books). The themes are much more subtle and there's an emphasis on the action and the story. It wasn't until after watching it that I realized how nuanced it was.

Sweet, The Fountain is definitely worth owning.

I liked "The Road" by McCarthy. VERY good movie. One of my faves too. I was actually shocked he was the same writer as "No Country" lol.

But if the themes are subtle HOHW might be worth watching. Generally, for me anyways, as long as a movie doesn't try to make a point I'm open.