Not sure where to start, but I guess my best option is to explain my situation and then ask for which sub to use first.
So... hello, call me Nate.
My life story probably won't interest anyone, so I'll use the relevant information only.
I was bullied as a kid and I never stood up for myself, I don't feel even close to being an alpha male or beta for that matter and my emotions are all the time over the place which in turn makes me more and more angry. I have never committed to anything except once when I decided to gain 20lb of muscle over 3 months and I succeeded, no idea how.
I have used NPL in the past and had some changes, but not sure if it was from the program or other things I was doing/using. I was 20 at the time and then decided to move and work in sales only to realize I can't handle rejection and look like a person whose family died every time I was knocking on someones door, people thought it's because I'm gay which I said isn't true, then I was told I was just being too sensitive which doesn't help at all.
7 months later I quit and moved back home to feel even more depressed. Used the time to play on my computer and get a job so I can move out again. This time I wanted to try my hand as a performance artist since it's always been my dream, but ever since I bought the ticket I really didn't feel I was "ready" to go out independently again, but oh well, the plane ticket was bought and I went with my funds, applied to a course, got in and attended for 6 months until now when I ran out of my hard earned cash. I also developed an attitude of disgust towards having a job (maybe since I can't stand up for myself and working of someone else it's always a necessity).
Now I told everyone I will make my own blog and earn an unrealistic profit by the end of the year. Oh yeah, I have pretty much never told anyone about my problems, trying to portray a strong male character and pretty much my whole family is depressed and I now have to live with them again until I can get out from here.
I know it's kind of a long story, but if someone managed to get through I'd like some suggestions as to where should I start, if any more information is required, I have plenty. Forgive my huge bulk of text, feeling exhausted and tired
Edit: changed some text to stay anonymous.
So... hello, call me Nate.
My life story probably won't interest anyone, so I'll use the relevant information only.
I was bullied as a kid and I never stood up for myself, I don't feel even close to being an alpha male or beta for that matter and my emotions are all the time over the place which in turn makes me more and more angry. I have never committed to anything except once when I decided to gain 20lb of muscle over 3 months and I succeeded, no idea how.
I have used NPL in the past and had some changes, but not sure if it was from the program or other things I was doing/using. I was 20 at the time and then decided to move and work in sales only to realize I can't handle rejection and look like a person whose family died every time I was knocking on someones door, people thought it's because I'm gay which I said isn't true, then I was told I was just being too sensitive which doesn't help at all.
7 months later I quit and moved back home to feel even more depressed. Used the time to play on my computer and get a job so I can move out again. This time I wanted to try my hand as a performance artist since it's always been my dream, but ever since I bought the ticket I really didn't feel I was "ready" to go out independently again, but oh well, the plane ticket was bought and I went with my funds, applied to a course, got in and attended for 6 months until now when I ran out of my hard earned cash. I also developed an attitude of disgust towards having a job (maybe since I can't stand up for myself and working of someone else it's always a necessity).
Now I told everyone I will make my own blog and earn an unrealistic profit by the end of the year. Oh yeah, I have pretty much never told anyone about my problems, trying to portray a strong male character and pretty much my whole family is depressed and I now have to live with them again until I can get out from here.
I know it's kind of a long story, but if someone managed to get through I'd like some suggestions as to where should I start, if any more information is required, I have plenty. Forgive my huge bulk of text, feeling exhausted and tired
Edit: changed some text to stay anonymous.