HOY-Because I HAD to try it...

[Shannon]

Keep in mind that what you think of as being "you" is your so-called "conscious" mind, and it is basically a small sliver of your whole consciousness. There are many different parts, layers and levels of awareness within you, and some of them will have different points of view, desires and levels of understanding from that sliver of consciousness, which is generally among the least conscious of all of them, from what I can tell. So it's entirely possible for "you" you deeply want something, and maybe one or more parts of your subconscious, while other parts may deeply want exactly the reverse. And those parts may simply be too deep for your conscious self to detect in a way that it understands.