11-13-2019, 10:04 PM
Day 42
I again ran 8 loops last night. First all of I am tired physically. My back feels tired. My ears feel sore from wearing the sleep phones all night.
I had to go to a utility company to sort out some issue. My slight intuition told me to go to area office but I went straight to the head office. They guided me to the right person in the area office. I told him the problem and it was solved. I think I improved on procrastination and addressing the problem head one. This issue was there for some time.
I felt bit more emphatic on the road towards other drivers especially motor bikes.
Today I felt a change in myself. I feel that yesterday when I did the 8 loops I was up against resistance and wasted a lot of time in just checking phone, checking news etc. Today I feel quite light. I am not feeling not wanting to do any work. While I was driving to office I realized that I am not stereotyping people. Like when I see a big SUV I assume the guy is rogue, he has black money, he is not paying taxes, he will bully other drivers etc etc. I was just seeing a big SUV and just seeing it as a machine. The same is my feeling towards other drivers especially the bicycles, rickshaws and bikes who are always behaving erratically on the road. I had the same feeling in the utility company office. I did not feel like bashing anyone in particular and although the issue was the fault of the utility company, the guys dealing with me took it quite maturely & seriously. I had visited the company in the past for same issue but without any success. In particular I did not feel like punishing anyone. I think it might be due to some past issue / pain which was trying to find some outlet and now maybe either it is healed or solved. I am not stereotyping or placing everyone in a place due to some past behavior or my opinion. I also did not feel the type of jealousy or negative behavior which I experienced yesterday from other guys. I am also not feeling jealous about other people stuff which I think is good.
I had a brief interaction with the big boss during some casual meeting. Normally he is very sarcastic, but he was quite normal and nice. I think I messed up on one of his questions.
By night time I was a bit irritated and just wanted to sleep. My wife was pushing me to discuss some financial issues and I wanted to postpone it to another day. I felt some depression also on the financial situation and felt very low at night.
I had another 8 loops at night.
I again ran 8 loops last night. First all of I am tired physically. My back feels tired. My ears feel sore from wearing the sleep phones all night.
I had to go to a utility company to sort out some issue. My slight intuition told me to go to area office but I went straight to the head office. They guided me to the right person in the area office. I told him the problem and it was solved. I think I improved on procrastination and addressing the problem head one. This issue was there for some time.
I felt bit more emphatic on the road towards other drivers especially motor bikes.
Today I felt a change in myself. I feel that yesterday when I did the 8 loops I was up against resistance and wasted a lot of time in just checking phone, checking news etc. Today I feel quite light. I am not feeling not wanting to do any work. While I was driving to office I realized that I am not stereotyping people. Like when I see a big SUV I assume the guy is rogue, he has black money, he is not paying taxes, he will bully other drivers etc etc. I was just seeing a big SUV and just seeing it as a machine. The same is my feeling towards other drivers especially the bicycles, rickshaws and bikes who are always behaving erratically on the road. I had the same feeling in the utility company office. I did not feel like bashing anyone in particular and although the issue was the fault of the utility company, the guys dealing with me took it quite maturely & seriously. I had visited the company in the past for same issue but without any success. In particular I did not feel like punishing anyone. I think it might be due to some past issue / pain which was trying to find some outlet and now maybe either it is healed or solved. I am not stereotyping or placing everyone in a place due to some past behavior or my opinion. I also did not feel the type of jealousy or negative behavior which I experienced yesterday from other guys. I am also not feeling jealous about other people stuff which I think is good.
I had a brief interaction with the big boss during some casual meeting. Normally he is very sarcastic, but he was quite normal and nice. I think I messed up on one of his questions.
By night time I was a bit irritated and just wanted to sleep. My wife was pushing me to discuss some financial issues and I wanted to postpone it to another day. I felt some depression also on the financial situation and felt very low at night.
I had another 8 loops at night.
E1 182 days: E2 127 days: USLM3 317 days: UMS 210 days...
