02-13-2017, 05:55 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-13-2017, 06:03 PM by destinedtochange.)
I am so happy to finally be able to sign in. Thank you to Benjamin. We have had a few email exchanges.
To the intro:
So I have been a lurker on this forum for a few years now but I never signed up for an account.....I have read many of your posts and testimonials and journals to many of you. I have just by choice decided to join as a member now.
I am 36 y/o. I currently live with strict religious parents (I know for my age sucks) Ideal life I would like to have been in is what my brother has accomplished, and he's younger than me and I really hate his guts not because he has the life that I want but he is just a pure natural dick and has the better life in comparison to the polite mild mannered man that I am and don't have 'the life' (dream girl, independence, friends, freedom, financial wealth, career, etc).
I do live with social anxiety which has not been diagnosed but am looking to get it confirmed, I have irrational fears, I am not an authority figure and am submissive to my bosses and manager...social life? Forget it! I live in my room in my house, the moment I walk in from work go straight to my room and that is my safe haven till the time I depart to go back to work next day. Of course I come out every now and then but with family that I live with my bro in law, sister, and parents, I am not the equal in their eyes, I am not the social bug that can freely speak his mind when something bothers me, I am just the guy that is rather quiet and can't speak his mind or socialize or throw in a joke at work out of fear.
I am actually seen as this guy that has no say in life or thoughts opinions shot down, my opinions don't matter and I am not seen as the social authority here in this home. I think that summarizes my life status right now....I am in a relationship that I don't want, never had experienced what it feels like to be out and about on my own.....really something I am feeling I am bound to do even at the expense of sacrificing family for....almost ready to take that plunge but don't know if I will pull it off.
Career wise, I want to be internet marketer and master that, currently telemarketing/ cold calling is my job. Meh, its a job. But yeah IM is my ultimate goal....
So I have been using EPHRA for a few weeks now.....should start a journal on that....
Oh and my name? Just call me Destined....
see u guys in the forum
To the intro:
So I have been a lurker on this forum for a few years now but I never signed up for an account.....I have read many of your posts and testimonials and journals to many of you. I have just by choice decided to join as a member now.
I am 36 y/o. I currently live with strict religious parents (I know for my age sucks) Ideal life I would like to have been in is what my brother has accomplished, and he's younger than me and I really hate his guts not because he has the life that I want but he is just a pure natural dick and has the better life in comparison to the polite mild mannered man that I am and don't have 'the life' (dream girl, independence, friends, freedom, financial wealth, career, etc).
I do live with social anxiety which has not been diagnosed but am looking to get it confirmed, I have irrational fears, I am not an authority figure and am submissive to my bosses and manager...social life? Forget it! I live in my room in my house, the moment I walk in from work go straight to my room and that is my safe haven till the time I depart to go back to work next day. Of course I come out every now and then but with family that I live with my bro in law, sister, and parents, I am not the equal in their eyes, I am not the social bug that can freely speak his mind when something bothers me, I am just the guy that is rather quiet and can't speak his mind or socialize or throw in a joke at work out of fear.
I am actually seen as this guy that has no say in life or thoughts opinions shot down, my opinions don't matter and I am not seen as the social authority here in this home. I think that summarizes my life status right now....I am in a relationship that I don't want, never had experienced what it feels like to be out and about on my own.....really something I am feeling I am bound to do even at the expense of sacrificing family for....almost ready to take that plunge but don't know if I will pull it off.
Career wise, I want to be internet marketer and master that, currently telemarketing/ cold calling is my job. Meh, its a job. But yeah IM is my ultimate goal....
So I have been using EPHRA for a few weeks now.....should start a journal on that....
Oh and my name? Just call me Destined....
see u guys in the forum
