Getting Life Back on Track - LTU 5

[ResJudicata]

Remind me which format and volume you're using, please?

Switched to masked (trickling stream) to see if it has any different effect for this 90 day run as compared to my previous run. Volume seems to usually be 5 or 6 out of 15 on my iphone with headphones. Haven't been paying close attention to volume as I've adjusted both ways if the volume irritates me (too quiet or too loud) because I've been listening to something else on my phone (youtube or pandora).

[Shannon]

Have you tried ultrasonic at a volume of 7?

[ResJudicata]

Have you tried ultrasonic at a volume of 7?

No. I don’t have any speakers other than the phone’s one speaker (which doesn’t give you the dual speaker effect) and I thought we weren’t supposed to use headphones for ultrasonic. Also, considering I listen to ocean waves and trickling stream at lower volumes than that and those are used for testing, I have not. If you want me to try it I can try next week when I get back from being out of town and can mess with my computer that has iTunes and all my music on it for my phone.

Day 114
I have been a mixed of insanely tired and a little sick these last couple of days. Yesterday I had the migraine of all migraines which led to me sleeping most the evening until I was awake for awhile. Otherwise my vacation has been ok but I didn’t pay attention yesterday and got the wrong brand of milk, which meant another trip to a different store as the original brand was one I started avoiding because the taste changed to something I didn’t enjoy (guessing they switched source dairies with different feed for the cows). Otherwise it’s been a relatively neutral experience (other than REALLY bad luck playing DotA Underlords).

[SaltyMeatballs]

Hey, ultrasonic on iPhone speaker is what I've mostly used and the effects are clear and noticeable. Has its downsides ofcourse but still very powerful. I suggest u try for 30 days.

[ResJudicata]

Hey, ultrasonic on iPhone speaker is what I've mostly used and the effects are clear and noticeable. Has its downsides ofcourse but still very powerful. I suggest u try for 30 days.

Day 121
Well, I'll give the ultrasonic a try tonight. Might be a little hard to balance and I may switch if it causes too many issues. I'm also back from my week away vacation and I feel like getting away made the pain of losing my dog much worse than better. Maybe I hadn't fully processed it but it's been hitting me hard again.

Edit: using the method of balancing based on playing the two masked versions I ended up on 6/15 volume on my iPhone speakers based on distance away from my phone. I sleep on my side and lasted less than 5 minutes before I had to stop. First there felt like there was an intense pressure on my one ear (I sleep on my side and that was the ear that wasn’t pressed against a pillow). Then I started to feel nauseous followed by the traces of the beginning headache/migraine. I’ll try again at 5/15 tomorrow once my body has settled again to see if I can find the working volume but it seems like it’ll have the similar volume problem to what I had with the hybrid, confirming my issue with they did IS the ultrasonic part. Whether that’s a violent resistance or a physical reaction, I’d tend towards the physical reaction but that may just be my biases (or a desire to not feel that ill that quickly).

[ResJudicata]

Day 127

Forgot to try the ultrasonic another night. Been busy and mostly just trying to get in my time without thinking about things because I've been distracted and staying up to late (I should have been asleep at least 45 minutes ago, preferably way before that). Otherwise, I don't have much to say. Life is going on and not much has changed. Not sure if I could notice what HAS changed.

[ResJudicata]

Day 132
Finally heard back from that one job I interviewed for a long while back. Seems they finally finished bureaucracy and I did another interview last Thursday at the specific office. I'm currently crossing my fingers because after the interview I really want that position. The office has a lot of the characteristics of what I want in a job. Now, I have to wait the week or two and hope they don't find someone they want more than me for the job.

Otherwise, life seems to have been going on. Also, my dice luck in bloodbowl is still horrifically terrible. So, no luck boost there. Then again, other than finally hearing back from the people, not much in the way of good or bad luck.

[ResJudicata]

Day 139

This whole week has been tiring. I can’t tell if it’s resistance, me trying to change my sleep schedule in case I get that job I want, or me mentally using every scrap of energy to ensure luck plays out such that I get that job I REALLY want. I’ve been chasing that job for months and that interview with the people I’d actually be working under just made me want it more. 

On a different note, last Sunday we went to check out a place we’d checked before about a dog they had shown on their website. We fell in love quickly and brought her home Wednesday. If someone told me finding this dog was the luck module, I’d believe them. She’s not perfect but calm and loving and just so good. She’s helping me a lot more mentally than I originally thought she would. I’m still crossing my fingers about the job. They’re supposed to get back to me either way this week.

Another thing I need to talk about is my brother. I know I’m not at a good place in my life or at least it feels that way to me (without a job for over a year, staying at my parent’s house (my parents are amazing, awesome, I owe them so much and I love them), I’m single (partially because I don’t feel like I’m at a good place mentally and emotionally and partially because I don’t know where to meet people locally),and I don’t have a lot of social contacts (partly by choice since I prefer a few close friends rather than many acquaintances plus not a party person)) and my brother just keeps subtlety insulting me and insulting me in so many ways that I’m just getting tired of it. I don’t want to cause a scene but it’s to the point where I’m just thinking my brother is a toxic person to be around, for me. Partially, I think I’m writing this to vent and process and probably also to finalize a decision of what to do in my mind. Oh well, I’ll just have to deal for now. In the long run, I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m alone in the house right now, so I’ll just enjoy some time with the good doggy.

[ResJudicata]

Day 147

Still haven’t heard back from the job I want. I figure I’ll call them Wednesday if I don’t hear anything specific back from them. My gaming group on the weekend seems to be forming up, which surprises me because it seems like it’ll be a good and interesting game and will let me scratch my GMing itch.

Doggo has been causing trouble, unfortunately. Still happy we have the new doggo but having to be careful if we leave her alone and she decides to tear something up. Otherwise she still has improved my mood and morale.

[ResJudicata]

Day 151

I'm procrastinating on things I shouldn't be and I'm allowing myself to be distracted while also not getting enough sleep at all. I feel tired all the time and fixing my sleep schedule feels impossible. Especially with a doggo that doesn't seem to understand I might want to sleep in.

Otherwise, not much to report. I think I'll try calling the job place tomorrow to get an update. I also need to start taking care of a few other things I've been putting off because I've been being lazy and procrastinating.

[ResJudicata]

Day 156

Not much to report really. I've been consistent with the masked this set. I've been really tired but I can't tell if that's the dog waking me up early, plus staying up late, resistance, or something else. I'm not sure how many changes are actually happening.

Some part of me is thinking the hybrid actually did something because I don't feel like anything is happening with the masked but that may also be resistance. I really can't tell anymore what's me second guessing and what's me realizing something. I will say that I'm having a lot of fun with my potential TRPG game that I'm starting up which may turn out well in the end. Even if I didn't get the group that I wanted to meet, originally.

[ResJudicata]

Day 164

Not much to report but I am happier with doggo here, even if she's going through a chewing phase. I can't really say much about luck as I still haven't heard anything from that job I really want that I interviewed for all those weeks ago. Training with doggo seems to be going well but a lot of things I need to take care of.

Honestly, I think I probably had more effect from the hybrid at its lower volume than the masked at a higher volume, even though the masked is at a lower volume. I'll probably switch back to hybrid after the next break because I really don't think I'm seeing any effects with the masked, or it's too subtle for me to notice.

[ncbeareatingman]

Helluva journal & progress on LTU5. Wow!! More power and prosperity to ta ,Fella!

[ResJudicata]

Day 168

What's weird is I have been having trouble sleeping the last couple of nights. I've been staying up late and actually went into a bit of a super creative manic type phase for a couple of hours where I got a ton of ideas for my Saturday TTRPG I'm running. A couple seem incredibly like incredibly good ideas and one setup I don't know how I came up with. Still need to develop the ideas later but some really good stuff.

Otherwise, life has been going on. I'm still having mixed feelings about switching back to the hybrid or not. Part of me wants to switch back because I think it has a stronger effect but part of me also wants to finish the masked and then go through my journal to see if I can actually spot a difference. My problem is that I don't think I can identify a lot of the changes.

One of the things that bothers me the most is that there are things I'm procrastinating that I know I need to get done. I don't know why I haven't but there's some type of latent fear that keeps me from doing them. I also need to put in another call about the position I was applying for and check in on some other possible jobs. Doubt I'll get too lucky but that may be pessimism talking after so long without work.