Freedom and Independence - an Enquiry into Self Esteem

[Darwinn]

Oh Lordy. This god damn well of BS just never ends. There's seemingly no end to the subtle ways i can worm my way out of really going for the goals of this sub. I slipped back wholly into beating myself up and not permitting myself to have success. I have an ingrained belief that being visible makes me a target for destruction. I was also told recently that i have some unpleasant unhelpful entities mooching off me and causing me problems - I don't quite know what to make of it or what to do about it.

Anyway the moment i got back to the core principles and refreshed my own concept of what self esteem really means and why i want it handled things started happening again and piecing themselves back together. It's like i had to consciously tell my unconscious that this needs to happen regardless of what you think the price is. Get to it. My sub conscious is still not convinced though, and still cautiously executing within the bounds it thinks are safe; when the truth is having no self esteem is truely unsafe.

Also self esteem doesn't feel good because i end up horrified at how much i am wasting my potential in self doubt and fear, it's like live consciously in the knowledge that you have a lot to do in this world and you're not doing it, or go to sleep and peacefully watch netflix.