Foundations of self confidence - OSC

[Johannesbrst]

Today marks 90 days with OSC.

Last week I had a salary negotiation on my job, and was offered a number way lower than what I had in mind. I argued calmly about the value I have been providing (which I have) and the market value of my competence. After the weekend they came back and gave me almost the full amount that I was asking for. That felt good. It’s still not fully what I want but good enough to stay with the company for one more year as I enjoy working there.

Otherwise confidence seem to be slowly increasing, bit by bit, making me feel generally better about myself and my future. There is still some way to go, but it’s getting there.

Let’s see what 90 more days can do.

Currently playing the masked format as it feels like the best fit for me.

[Johannesbrst]

Day 111
I feel more and more grounded in my body. Less affected by what other people do, say or feel. More in touch with my own desires, needs and wants.

The desire to date girls has been reduced, right now I feel more for focusing on my hobbies and spending time with my family and friends.

Have taken on many new responsibilities at work, driving a number of projects and have clear goals for what I want to contribute and achieve. Also was able to clearly articulate and state my position in the last salary review which resulted in a decent pay-raise.

Will keep running OSC until day 180 and then revaluate. I have tried to run it for two loops per day for a few days but got really tired and drained from it, 1 loop still seem to be the optimal amount of exposure. Still running masked.

Feel pretty good in general, mostly sleep well, and are enjoying things in general in work, at home and with friends.

[Johannesbrst]

For a long time now I've had this feeling of loneliness and sadness in my heart. A longing to feel connected again, to be authentic and joyfull again. And for a long time I've associated living from my heart with a sense of weakness, something I almost have avoided and looked down on, in a attempt to protect myself from expressing the hurt and sorrow I've felt there. But slowly and surely I'm starting to open up this part of myself to my friends and I start to see that this part, even though it is sad and not "perfect", i still get accepted and shown that it's nothing wrong with this part of myself. It goes in small steps, but it is in the right direction.