11-08-2019, 02:27 PM
I'll reply to the last 2 replies shortly. The FRM is really working today showing me my active fears.
In short, I realized why I play awkward around others--so that will be the focus, and not me, the true me.
I'd been wondering and thinking of my writing history here. I realize I've constantly been bringing in truths about my life, BUT I purposely share negatives or undesirable issues to filter out imagined rejection. Me sharing this kind of message, I believe, is me rejecting people first before they reject me. I am feeling fear of being known and hurt, so I proactively push people away.
It's scary writing that, for it's true. I've made it hard for people to get to know me, and it's all because of fear. I began recognizing a lot of my fearful patterns today.
In short, I realized why I play awkward around others--so that will be the focus, and not me, the true me.
I'd been wondering and thinking of my writing history here. I realize I've constantly been bringing in truths about my life, BUT I purposely share negatives or undesirable issues to filter out imagined rejection. Me sharing this kind of message, I believe, is me rejecting people first before they reject me. I am feeling fear of being known and hurt, so I proactively push people away.
It's scary writing that, for it's true. I've made it hard for people to get to know me, and it's all because of fear. I began recognizing a lot of my fearful patterns today.
I want to be FREE!
