Infinite, I took your words "be careful" too literally this morning. My old interpretation was that fear might protect me, and I allowed it kind of like me seeking to know "let's see how this works now."
I arrived at work, feeling some old habitual fear--but it wasn't latched onto my heart like it used to be. I saw some coworkers in the dark (5:45ish), and I was trying to figure out my feelings. I've often resorted to a compliant little boy mindset, which is all fear-based. I even tried to feel it, but it doesn't happen so easily now.
When I stepped out of my van, something switched in my head and heart. I WANTED to face my fears. I wanted to wrestle down fears and tell them "NO MORE!!!" Courage came from somewhere, and my day began. This has never happened before, but it was such a rush! It felt like my courage would make any fear look absolutely pointless. I've practiced it all day. Courage is alive!
I worked with Mr. Grumpy today doing an extra route, but I kept quiet around him. He just hands away anger, so I chose to mind my own business, and talking was very minimal. Maybe 30 sentences all day between us (9 hours). I toyed with handing some of his quick, angry responses back, but ..... I didn't wish to join in his misery. I was ok in my own head.
Money-wise, I've been hands on all day communicating with my main miner. I've needed a private key to release my funds, and I felt like I was working with a money shark. I stood my ground, considered possibilities, and faced her all day. I'm playing a real-life money game, I've hung in there, and I offered a deal with her to receive my key 30 minutes ago. I'm awaiting a response now.
UMS, what are you made of?
I arrived at work, feeling some old habitual fear--but it wasn't latched onto my heart like it used to be. I saw some coworkers in the dark (5:45ish), and I was trying to figure out my feelings. I've often resorted to a compliant little boy mindset, which is all fear-based. I even tried to feel it, but it doesn't happen so easily now.
When I stepped out of my van, something switched in my head and heart. I WANTED to face my fears. I wanted to wrestle down fears and tell them "NO MORE!!!" Courage came from somewhere, and my day began. This has never happened before, but it was such a rush! It felt like my courage would make any fear look absolutely pointless. I've practiced it all day. Courage is alive!
I worked with Mr. Grumpy today doing an extra route, but I kept quiet around him. He just hands away anger, so I chose to mind my own business, and talking was very minimal. Maybe 30 sentences all day between us (9 hours). I toyed with handing some of his quick, angry responses back, but ..... I didn't wish to join in his misery. I was ok in my own head.
Money-wise, I've been hands on all day communicating with my main miner. I've needed a private key to release my funds, and I felt like I was working with a money shark. I stood my ground, considered possibilities, and faced her all day. I'm playing a real-life money game, I've hung in there, and I offered a deal with her to receive my key 30 minutes ago. I'm awaiting a response now.
UMS, what are you made of?
I want to be FREE!
