06-10-2021, 07:41 AM
Day 11, On
Felt like crap in general the past couple of days. There were moments of euphoria where I feel freedom from anything, that I can bounce from whatever comes, that any downward spiral will pass. Most of this down feelings comes from my attachment to one particular girl I'm chatting with. On the bright side, I don't feel as much negativity from these compared to previous experiences where I would wallow in misery for long periods.
Yesterday, someone rang the door and when I opened it were 2 latina college students that's selling (for donation) me books. I looked like I had just woke up and was not in my best appearance but I did not feel any shame. I conversed with them and joked a little. They were from Dominican Republic and Mexico, staying here for 2 months through a program. My only regret is not asking for their numbers, and ask them to hang out on their free time.
It's been consistent that on my On days, I wake up early morning, play OF v3 and I get right back to sleep again. Before this sub, I'd wake up and that would be it. I can stay in bed but I don't fall asleep anymore.
I miss playing subs every day. The days off makes me long for the next cycle to start listening again.
Felt like crap in general the past couple of days. There were moments of euphoria where I feel freedom from anything, that I can bounce from whatever comes, that any downward spiral will pass. Most of this down feelings comes from my attachment to one particular girl I'm chatting with. On the bright side, I don't feel as much negativity from these compared to previous experiences where I would wallow in misery for long periods.
Yesterday, someone rang the door and when I opened it were 2 latina college students that's selling (for donation) me books. I looked like I had just woke up and was not in my best appearance but I did not feel any shame. I conversed with them and joked a little. They were from Dominican Republic and Mexico, staying here for 2 months through a program. My only regret is not asking for their numbers, and ask them to hang out on their free time.
It's been consistent that on my On days, I wake up early morning, play OF v3 and I get right back to sleep again. Before this sub, I'd wake up and that would be it. I can stay in bed but I don't fall asleep anymore.
I miss playing subs every day. The days off makes me long for the next cycle to start listening again.
