06-03-2021, 03:00 PM
Day 4, Off
Computer is taking a long time to load stuff I need for work so I figured I'd write an entry here and recollect as much as I can.
Hard to get up this morning, mid section felt very stiff. If I contract muscles or inhale deeply I get a jolt of dull pain and freeze for a second. That was the case for the rest of the day but it's getting better. I didn't get to finish all my work yesterday, past 9pm I called it quits due to headache.
At midday I browsed instagram and reddit, saw a bunch of nsfw images but it didn't affect me. Looked at porn sites too and thought to myself why the fuck am I wasting my time. So I did what I have to do and moved on. Seems too logical, I'm set that I need to get it out of my system so I can focus with other things.
I have this back and forth struggle with the idea of taking care of myself better and learn skills to improve my happiness, mostly soft/social skills. Sudden urges and then not giving a fuck about it.
Couple of people at work asked me for my help, it happens from time to time but today was a lot more than usual. I have other things to do too, so I helped and I was surprised with how very straightforward I am with my explanation and answers. Explaining how to do A,B,C, why is so and so, ask if they understand or if they have questions then next topic, and repeat. It's been really busy the past couple of weeks at work but on downtimes, I get this sudden rush of emotions. It's like they all got bottled up and as soon as I am alone with my thoughts I am bombarded with them. Feelings of euphoria or sometimes feelings that gets me down.
Computer is taking a long time to load stuff I need for work so I figured I'd write an entry here and recollect as much as I can.
Hard to get up this morning, mid section felt very stiff. If I contract muscles or inhale deeply I get a jolt of dull pain and freeze for a second. That was the case for the rest of the day but it's getting better. I didn't get to finish all my work yesterday, past 9pm I called it quits due to headache.
At midday I browsed instagram and reddit, saw a bunch of nsfw images but it didn't affect me. Looked at porn sites too and thought to myself why the fuck am I wasting my time. So I did what I have to do and moved on. Seems too logical, I'm set that I need to get it out of my system so I can focus with other things.
I have this back and forth struggle with the idea of taking care of myself better and learn skills to improve my happiness, mostly soft/social skills. Sudden urges and then not giving a fuck about it.
Couple of people at work asked me for my help, it happens from time to time but today was a lot more than usual. I have other things to do too, so I helped and I was surprised with how very straightforward I am with my explanation and answers. Explaining how to do A,B,C, why is so and so, ask if they understand or if they have questions then next topic, and repeat. It's been really busy the past couple of weeks at work but on downtimes, I get this sudden rush of emotions. It's like they all got bottled up and as soon as I am alone with my thoughts I am bombarded with them. Feelings of euphoria or sometimes feelings that gets me down.
