EIP and Max learning, achieving some goals

[mat422]

I wish I didn't have anxiety anymore. It just makes everything needlessly complicated. I've learned the worst thing you can do for any emotional problem is attempt to fight it or overcome it through willpower. It just causes more trouble. In my case whenever I put myself in anxiety provoking situations to overcome my anxiety there's no resolution really. It's like I think that once I do this it'll be like a stepping stone and I'll get better. But it's more like I still want to get the hell out of there and I'm just doing it for the sake of doing it. So my body is carrying out the task or whatever and my mind is just looking to escape at the nearest opportunity. There's this lack of unity between my subconscious and conscious mind and I can feel it very strongly. This is what upsets me the most. A lot of people struggle with anxiety yet live lives that seem good on the outside. There's just way too much focus on the outside as a measure of progress in a persons development. To the point where there's a profound misunderstanding between coping and actually living life.

I guess today is one of those nothing has changed days. Probably hit a raw nerve with the sub and now it needs to be released. I'm just gonna ride it out, do my best, and not dwell on it. Hopefully tomorrow is better.