Went to a small get together the other night. There was some alcohol involved. I had about 3 ciders then called it quits. I've realized in the past I'd push myself to get drunk. Not gonna lie, I like being drunk. I like that I'll say whatever is on my mind and usually be able to build connections better with people around me. But I decided I'm not gonna do that anymore. Maybe if alcohol didn't make me feel like complete garbage, but the tradeoff isn't worth it. A really fun night and then a week of bad depression isn't worth it.
I'd rather actually get to a place where I have that ease of conversation without using alcohol as a crutch.
Also random thing that's been bugging me. I never feel like I retain information. I don't know if I really don't or I'm just anxious that I'll forget it. I used to have this problem when I was younger and had to study for tests. I'd memorize stuff until I could get it down perfectly. Then I'd go back and study everything again just in case. But I'd do that throughout the rest of the night every time I had the slight worry that I'd forget. It happens to me with books now. I'll read something and feel like I didn't really understand it or that I need to read it more and just go back and forth.
I'd rather actually get to a place where I have that ease of conversation without using alcohol as a crutch.
Also random thing that's been bugging me. I never feel like I retain information. I don't know if I really don't or I'm just anxious that I'll forget it. I used to have this problem when I was younger and had to study for tests. I'd memorize stuff until I could get it down perfectly. Then I'd go back and study everything again just in case. But I'd do that throughout the rest of the night every time I had the slight worry that I'd forget. It happens to me with books now. I'll read something and feel like I didn't really understand it or that I need to read it more and just go back and forth.
