08-28-2014, 08:03 AM
Weird dream last night. Maybe related to resistance from the everything is possible sub. Basically I was walking around with some guys I know in a huge crowded place. Cute girls everywhere. So we are just walking talking, generally fooling around. But every couple of minutes girls come up and approach them and show interest. Then they leave with the girls. I'm left wandering around on my own, pretty much invisible to any of the girls. Eventually I just sit up against a wall and watch everyone go about their business, as a spectator. Pretty much disconnected. Not really caring. But not in a good way, more in a real lack of interest because I feel like it's not even possible to get a long with most of the people there.
Here's what I think. I think I give off an energy of don't approach me a lot of the time. But deep down I want to make connections with people. So I have a very conflicted interaction with a lot of people. Something I really realized is that interacting with people more isn't really the answer because then I get good at interacting with people but it's mostly a skill and less of a natural state of my being. I really think the only way I'll be able to move past that conflicting feeling is to continue to work on myself and allow more people into my life. I can be very charismatic, but that's just the surface level. When people want to get to know me more I have a tendency to push them away. The worst part is I won't even realize I'm doing it sometimes.
But max learning seems to be helping out. I was skateboarding the other day and I was landing my tricks more consistently than usual. Learned a few tweaks with my technique too to make stuff easier. Music is still progressing. I realized I have to shift my focus into musical composition because even though sound design is important, it's nothing without good musical arrangement.
And seeing as how I've been attempting to meditate more I'm looking for ways that work for me. In general I need something to focus on and I have a strong connection with music and sound. So I found a youtube video with some nice tibetan bowls that's really relaxing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5dU6serXkg
I guarantee if you listen to it for just 5 minutes, you'll feel more centered and at peace. I read it's kind of like old school brainwave entrainment. I prefer it to the more modern brainwave entrainment, it just has a more ethereal feel to it.
Here's what I think. I think I give off an energy of don't approach me a lot of the time. But deep down I want to make connections with people. So I have a very conflicted interaction with a lot of people. Something I really realized is that interacting with people more isn't really the answer because then I get good at interacting with people but it's mostly a skill and less of a natural state of my being. I really think the only way I'll be able to move past that conflicting feeling is to continue to work on myself and allow more people into my life. I can be very charismatic, but that's just the surface level. When people want to get to know me more I have a tendency to push them away. The worst part is I won't even realize I'm doing it sometimes.
But max learning seems to be helping out. I was skateboarding the other day and I was landing my tricks more consistently than usual. Learned a few tweaks with my technique too to make stuff easier. Music is still progressing. I realized I have to shift my focus into musical composition because even though sound design is important, it's nothing without good musical arrangement.
And seeing as how I've been attempting to meditate more I'm looking for ways that work for me. In general I need something to focus on and I have a strong connection with music and sound. So I found a youtube video with some nice tibetan bowls that's really relaxing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5dU6serXkg
I guarantee if you listen to it for just 5 minutes, you'll feel more centered and at peace. I read it's kind of like old school brainwave entrainment. I prefer it to the more modern brainwave entrainment, it just has a more ethereal feel to it.
