EHPRA Journal

[Benjamin]

That is awesome Matt. The fact that you've been trying so many things and EPRHA 2.0 is doing more for you makes me more exited to use it myself at some stage. As there is definately deeper things I need to heal to go forward in other areas in my life.

[mat422]

Thanks guys! I'll try to keep up with my journal more when I notice anything. I'm noticing my desire to post more about my life increases the more I run this sub. Less hesitant I guess, with 1.0 I was in a sort of isolated state.

I notice I'm becoming a lot more open. When I go out I no longer feel like people are a threat to me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I've always been the type of person that is on guard and untrusting of people's motives. This is going to sound really abstract, but I can feel it in my energy without even having any verbal communication. It's like before I was pulled into myself and constantly analyzing the world from behind a sort of barrier. But now I'm projected out into the world more.

I had a bit of a rough patch yesterday though. I was really excited about how well 2.0 was working and I overextended myself and didn't give myself enough rest when I needed it. And part of that is because I realize I compare myself with others too much. So on occasions when I've felt like I've needed a bit of a rest to regain my energy I've criticized myself for needing that because there are other people out in the world doing 10x as much work as me who probably need it more. Especially here in the U.S. there's a guilt complex surrounding "not being productive", that's probably rubbed off on me a bit.

I also had a realization why I'm having trouble reading some books I'm interested in learning from. A lot of the books I'm reading come from people that are a lot better at what they do than me, which triggers that comparison reaction. So I'll be trying to read but thinking things like I'm so far away from being as good and knowledgeable as them about this material. That causes stress and then I lose focus. Little by little, I'm noticing this behavior decreasing and it's made it easier for me to focus because my self worth isn't tied up in learning something.

I've always been hesitant of trying new stuff since I was a kid and I think it's because I'm an idealist. I see the destination of where I want to be and I'm able to be really realistic about where I'm at. I've come to realize it's a good trait to have because it keeps me humble and always striving to do better. But I've also realized if it isn't kept under control or managed it just turns into this paralysis that prevents me from growing or trying new things.

And one more thing. Since running this sub for a bit now and lowering that fear I'm having an easier time making my music. I'm not as filled with doubts about my creative decisions and stuck in a limiting view of what I should be doing. I'm hoping this continues as I've often felt my lack of progress with my music was just due to me avoiding it out of fear.

That's all for now. This is probably my most positive post in a while. It's good to feel like I'm slowly distancing myself from these things instead of getting sucked into them.

[ArcticFox]

I'm noticing my desire to post more

Funny as Raz seems to be posting 3-4 times a day on EPRHA 2.0. Are you feeling the same urge?

[RTBoss]

And one more thing. Since running this sub for a bit now and lowering that fear I'm having an easier time making my music. I'm not as filled with doubts about my creative decisions and stuck in a limiting view of what I should be doing. I'm hoping this continues as I've often felt my lack of progress with my music was just due to me avoiding it out of fear.

Great introspection. I've also felt better about my music, with less doubts. I've been thinking a lot lately about how actor John Malkovich once said that he "hates the sound of his own voice." The rest of us don't, it's his own perception. We have to create as artists without letting our own fearful judgement get in the way.

[Raz]

I'm noticing my desire to post more

Funny as Raz seems to be posting 3-4 times a day on EPRHA 2.0. Are you feeling the same urge?

On my side at least it is mixture of decreasing inhibition and a desire to write down what shoots through my mind while it is fresh. Once something is experienced or realized through the subs it quickly dissipates and becomes less noteworthy.

[Jason Capital]

I'm noticing my desire to post more

Funny as Raz seems to be posting 3-4 times a day on EPRHA 2.0. Are you feeling the same urge?

On my side at least it is mixture of decreasing inhibition and a desire to write down what shoots through my mind while it is fresh. Once something is experienced or realized through the subs it quickly dissipates and becomes less noteworthy.

This is actually quite right because even with pure 5G sub, I am not writing the full experiences I had, on my journal, and I remember so much to write after I read that someone had those changes that I already have.

Though I like to see the people posting more and more and E2 is taking over the forum.

Can't wait to see all the guys making progress with this sub.

[Shannon]

You see why I had to be so extremely precise and demanding (and slow) with building, verifying and optimizing this program now.

[Benjamin]

I notice I'm becoming a lot more open. When I go out I no longer feel like people are a threat to me.

Interesting, has this just happened since EPRHA 2.0?

[mat422]

I'm noticing my desire to post more

Funny as Raz seems to be posting 3-4 times a day on EPRHA 2.0. Are you feeling the same urge?

It's pretty much exactly what he wrote in this thread. With 2.0 things come in fast and writing them down seems to help me get a better perspective on it. Plus because I've been in seriously unfavorable circumstances for most my life I want to make sure others who are in a similar situation know there is a way out.

I notice I'm becoming a lot more open. When I go out I no longer feel like people are a threat to me.

Interesting, has this just happened since EPRHA 2.0?

Yup. I ran 1.0 for a good stretch of time, so maybe 2.0 amplified what was already being worked on. But for the most part 2.0 caused some pretty incredible shifts in thinking for me.

[ArcticFox]

I'm noticing my desire to post more

Funny as Raz seems to be posting 3-4 times a day on EPRHA 2.0. Are you feeling the same urge?

It's pretty much exactly what he wrote in this thread. With 2.0 things come in fast and writing them down seems to help me get a better perspective on it. Plus because I've been in seriously unfavorable circumstances for most my life I want to make sure others who are in a similar situation know there is a way out.

I notice I'm becoming a lot more open. When I go out I no longer feel like people are a threat to me.

Interesting, has this just happened since EPRHA 2.0?

Yup. I ran 1.0 for a good stretch of time, so maybe 2.0 amplified what was already being worked on. But for the most part 2.0 caused some pretty incredible shifts in thinking for me.

Wow, I'm really looking forward to starting this. ERPHA has been doing good things for me but the changes are so subtle that its almost to the point of frustration because you don't really notice them!

Great to see strong changes early on, makes you wonder what 6 months will be like?!

[mat422]

Yeah it's really amazing. I'm honestly still in disbelief at how strong it is. It's pretty much altered my view on reality. I've always been into the more alternative theories of how the world works, but this sub will really make you understand just how powerful the subconscious mind is at influencing things in your life.

[mat422]

So I'm still dealing with some anxiety and avoidance. To be expected, after all the sub needs to be run for a minimum of 32 days. But I guess that's progress too because about a day or two ago I was really stressing the importance of this sub solving my problems quickly. Now I'm a lot more accepting of the possibility of old habits resurfacing. And I'll readily admit that I still deal with anxiety, it's not all gone yet, and I plan on working on that as much as possible.

Anyway, I had to call back for a job I interviewed for about a week ago. I was pretty close to putting it off, but I went through with it anyway. But I was told to call back tomorrow as the hiring manager wasn't in. So I'm still a little on edge about doing that tomorrow. I don't know what it is but I have a strong phone anxiety. Could be because it hits all those fears of the unknown. Who's going to pick up on the other end? Are they going to be nice? Am I going to be able to understand them? Will they be able to hear me clearly? Am I being too impatient with this job? Blah blah blah. You get the picture.

I guess what it boils down to is I still have a strong fear of the unknown. Which probably fuels my obsession with careful planning and researching things instead of just doing it. It's not an organizational planning, it's more like "lets see how we can prevent any awful stuff from happening". At this point it's really just paranoia and it doesn't aid me in any way at all.

[mat422]

Today has been going alright. I made that call with less anxiety than the other day. Might have been due to a weird dream I had that put stuff in perspective for me.

So the dream was me about to be hypnotized to help with all my issues I've been having. But I don't trust the hypnotist so I run away. She manages to strap me down so I can't go anywhere and goes through the hypnosis. I wake up and criticize her for trying to control me, but then she says she's only trying to help and she can't help if I don't allow her to. At that point I felt like an idiot for resisting everything and then agreed to give it another shot.

Maybe I'm wrong here, but that pretty much seems like a conversation from two opposing sides of my mind finally reaching an agreement. At which point I realized I've been sabotaging my success all along by constantly being afraid to trust whatever positive things would come from allowing the subliminals to work. In my mind I wanted to change, but the fear of change outweighed the positives of it. I thought I knew how to let go, but I've realized I really didn't. So many realizations I had and conscious awareness of my problems were just that, on the surface. They never made it any deeper. But this change I really feel on a gut level and it's not like I'm pretending anymore and trying to convince myself of it.

After this the subliminal has taken on a drastically different feel. Yesterday I would listen to it and feel incredibly tired and heavy like I wanted to sleep. Which I think was a manifestation of resisting. When I was younger whenever my life got difficult I'd just sleep because I was too afraid to face things head on. But now I feel like it's giving me a gentle massage and a feeling of peace and compassion is washing over me. It also feels like a giant ball of lead has left my stomach which I didn't even know was there. I also feel like so many released emotions are flooding to the surface, but I'm not clamping down on them and pushing them away like I used to. Like for the first time in my life I'm actually validating my own emotional problems and giving myself compassion without worrying about coming across as weak. And the best part is I don't need to know why or where these emotions are coming from, I'm just healing them and the stories attached to them don't matter.

I'd say this is a pretty big step for me in just gaining more trust in the subliminals and feeling a sense of support from them instead of an underlying fear.

[Shannon]

Today has been going alright. I made that call with less anxiety than the other day. Might have been due to a weird dream I had that put stuff in perspective for me.

So the dream was me about to be hypnotized to help with all my issues I've been having. But I don't trust the hypnotist so I run away. She manages to strap me down so I can't go anywhere and goes through the hypnosis. I wake up and criticize her for trying to control me, but then she says she's only trying to help and she can't help if I don't allow her to. At that point I felt like an idiot for resisting everything and then agreed to give it another shot.

Maybe I'm wrong here, but that pretty much seems like a conversation from two opposing sides of my mind finally reaching an agreement. At which point I realized I've been sabotaging my success all along by constantly being afraid to trust whatever positive things would come from allowing the subliminals to work. In my mind I wanted to change, but the fear of change outweighed the positives of it. I thought I knew how to let go, but I've realized I really didn't. So many realizations I had and conscious awareness of my problems were just that, on the surface. They never made it any deeper. But this change I really feel on a gut level and it's not like I'm pretending anymore and trying to convince myself of it.

After this the subliminal has taken on a drastically different feel. Yesterday I would listen to it and feel incredibly tired and heavy like I wanted to sleep. Which I think was a manifestation of resisting. When I was younger whenever my life got difficult I'd just sleep because I was too afraid to face things head on. But now I feel like it's giving me a gentle massage and a feeling of peace and compassion is washing over me. It also feels like a giant ball of lead has left my stomach which I didn't even know was there. I also feel like so many released emotions are flooding to the surface, but I'm not clamping down on them and pushing them away like I used to. Like for the first time in my life I'm actually validating my own emotional problems and giving myself compassion without worrying about coming across as weak. And the best part is I don't need to know why or where these emotions are coming from, I'm just healing them and the stories attached to them don't matter.

I'd say this is a pretty big step for me in just gaining more trust in the subliminals and feeling a sense of support from them instead of an underlying fear.

Trying to control me... control issues frequently undermine subliminals and hypnosis. And control issues are always, Always, ALWAYS based in... fear.

So familiar, all these things that you speak of. Phone anxiety, fear of the unknown, control issues, and on and on. Watching you is like watching a younger version of myself.

But wow, are you doing well with this. I have to say it made me feel pride in you and your successes and progress when I read those last couple posts.

The dream is rather amusing, because the program is designed to shift your state (which your subconscious represented as hypnosis) and do so in the right ways for accomplishing the goals of the program. That was one of the most straightforward dreams I have ever seen for communication from the subconscious mind to the conscious mind. I'd say your subconscious now fully understands that this is not something it needs to resist, because it's in control of how this script is executed. (Self optimizing polymorphic)

Now as for the heaviness and tiredness, I'm inclined to believe that's not resistance, but a deep state of inward focus that is being aimed at deep healing. I experienced that when testing the program. I would listen to it at night, and feel like that all day the first day, and then half the second day, and now that feeling has passed, but I feel vastly more relaxed and at ease, as if I have had some sort of emotional bath, massage and release of physical stress I didn't even know I had! My previous "norm" was very tense physically compared to how I am feeling lately. Very nice.

i can't tell you how good it feels to know people are getting benefit from this program. This makes all the time and energy I spent developing and building it well worthwile.