11-05-2012, 08:54 PM
So I got hit by hurricane sandy. It was a bit intense, but nothing serious. Just my power got knocked out, and I just got it back today. So I went a week without power, I had a generator to provide for the bare essentials.
Anyway during that time I couldn't get any sub exposure. So the progress I started with overcome fear dwindled and I lost momentum unfortunately. Looking on the bright side, I can tell this sub really did a lot of good for me and I'm glad I'm able to start listening to it again.
So I've been reading up on cognitive behavioral therapy and implemented some of the methods for restructuring my negative thinking. I noticed that my biggest weakness is getting too easily overwhelmed and then reading into the future and causing myself to get stuck. Once I have a vague idea of what's going to happen I feel like that's it. So what I've been doing is pulling myself out of those thoughts that cause me to feel like losing hope and remind myself that things can and do change. But I have to be willing to see that change and be open to it. Consciously monitoring my thinking helps a lot, and reframing everything does some good. But I know the real change comes from within the subconscious first and changing those beliefs.
Today I was also pondering how weird our own personal realities can be. I watched A Beautiful Mind and disorders like schizophrenia are fascinating. How a mind can convince you that something is there, when it is in fact not. And how different an individual can start perceiving their life, when there is more to it that they aren't seeing.
It got me thinking, people tend to exist in their own personal realities almost. It's like we all have realities stacked upon each other. And our beliefs tend to bleed through into other's realities. I believe that there is objective truth, but I also wonder if objective truth is just another reinforced belief by the masses and deviation from that is near impossible because it's a tightly held belief. Psychic phenomena for example. There are many that seek to disprove it's existence, instead of actually understanding. Surely the belief that there is no such thing outweighs the beliefs that there is, and possibly those beliefs bleed into that reality where it is possible and destroy it.
But that's just the ramblings of a guy who never felt too grounded in "reality" to begin with. I say that because I exist in my own reality, created by my own mind, which I see from an outside perspective as a prison, but consistently have trouble changing that reality. It's simple enough where I can see where my beliefs are faulty, how my reality is one of many I could experience, and how strange the whole thing can appear. However, it seems to exist as concepts, concepts that aren't fully believed and only hold validity in my conscious mind. Deeper in the subconscious they tend to be harder to assimilate into my current web of beliefs.
Bottom line is, reality to me seems bendable and ever changing. I recognize that there are forces constantly attempting to dictate how I think and behave. I believe having awareness causes you to be able to filter these things. But I also believe some individuals are not aware of how easily molded they are and grow to be something they have been told to be all the while thinking it is their genuine self. Am I paranoid? Some may say so. The truth is, we can't really know the techniques or methods employed by individuals to manipulate. If you consider how much money exists for those individuals and how much research they have at their fingertips, you can start to see how expense is not a hindrance to figuring out the best way to manipulate the masses.
But again that's just a thought. I can't prove the existence of it anymore than I can disprove the existence. The best thing is to just focus on bettering myself and living my life the way I want to live it.
Anyway during that time I couldn't get any sub exposure. So the progress I started with overcome fear dwindled and I lost momentum unfortunately. Looking on the bright side, I can tell this sub really did a lot of good for me and I'm glad I'm able to start listening to it again.
So I've been reading up on cognitive behavioral therapy and implemented some of the methods for restructuring my negative thinking. I noticed that my biggest weakness is getting too easily overwhelmed and then reading into the future and causing myself to get stuck. Once I have a vague idea of what's going to happen I feel like that's it. So what I've been doing is pulling myself out of those thoughts that cause me to feel like losing hope and remind myself that things can and do change. But I have to be willing to see that change and be open to it. Consciously monitoring my thinking helps a lot, and reframing everything does some good. But I know the real change comes from within the subconscious first and changing those beliefs.
Today I was also pondering how weird our own personal realities can be. I watched A Beautiful Mind and disorders like schizophrenia are fascinating. How a mind can convince you that something is there, when it is in fact not. And how different an individual can start perceiving their life, when there is more to it that they aren't seeing.
It got me thinking, people tend to exist in their own personal realities almost. It's like we all have realities stacked upon each other. And our beliefs tend to bleed through into other's realities. I believe that there is objective truth, but I also wonder if objective truth is just another reinforced belief by the masses and deviation from that is near impossible because it's a tightly held belief. Psychic phenomena for example. There are many that seek to disprove it's existence, instead of actually understanding. Surely the belief that there is no such thing outweighs the beliefs that there is, and possibly those beliefs bleed into that reality where it is possible and destroy it.
But that's just the ramblings of a guy who never felt too grounded in "reality" to begin with. I say that because I exist in my own reality, created by my own mind, which I see from an outside perspective as a prison, but consistently have trouble changing that reality. It's simple enough where I can see where my beliefs are faulty, how my reality is one of many I could experience, and how strange the whole thing can appear. However, it seems to exist as concepts, concepts that aren't fully believed and only hold validity in my conscious mind. Deeper in the subconscious they tend to be harder to assimilate into my current web of beliefs.
Bottom line is, reality to me seems bendable and ever changing. I recognize that there are forces constantly attempting to dictate how I think and behave. I believe having awareness causes you to be able to filter these things. But I also believe some individuals are not aware of how easily molded they are and grow to be something they have been told to be all the while thinking it is their genuine self. Am I paranoid? Some may say so. The truth is, we can't really know the techniques or methods employed by individuals to manipulate. If you consider how much money exists for those individuals and how much research they have at their fingertips, you can start to see how expense is not a hindrance to figuring out the best way to manipulate the masses.
But again that's just a thought. I can't prove the existence of it anymore than I can disprove the existence. The best thing is to just focus on bettering myself and living my life the way I want to live it.
