Feeling really short fused. Really small things set me off in rage, ageession and wanting to lash out.
Muscles are twitching like some light seizure. Guess things are released. Im really going to push my.mind to the limit, my loops, to get shit done once and for all.
Shitton of hot women in this country that I aint even know anymore for which ones are manifestation or not. Doesnt matter, for all I know all are manifestation as that shit happens moment after moment subconsciously wise.
Anyways, I have no what I dreamed about, I do remember at one point I was soaking wet with sexual energy. Feeling very capable in a sense handling girls in a sexual way like some fucking p#rnstar. Im having more and more sexual dreams aswell, like instantly.
Oh well, yesterday felt like a bust and now having resistance to go out/back to that event. :/ like wtf, scarcity and emotions, feeling on the brink of crying.
Im not gonna stop DMSI.
Anyways, yesterday the resistance passed and I realized I could randomly start babbling about my cat oscar ( I dont have a cat ) and how he is a hot shot, thus being playfull, almost innocent and stuff, giving her an unlimited amount of things to progress on. Again, I can tell her how he is the boss of the neighbourhood, or silly, or any of that.
To come back to the event. I just finished a loop before and felt pretty much in my head. Music on in the car, volume high, cruising relaxed. Met up with a friend, with C and Jo, and it felt awkward. Thinkjng back on this feels like spiralling down. The f#ck is happening. When people engaged it went fluid. Anyways, the amount of hot women was ridiculous. No approaches but at least many positioning close, hairflips and shit. One girl was standing out, got my eye, and made me somewhat curious. Black lomg gair, toned, slim, B cup, deep clesr blue eyes. We met 2 times. Like, my eyes did trance out into hers till the point of closeness.
This happened countless times, eye contacting just dominating my will, relaxing and going with it. It felt beyond bs beliefs like 'oh perv this, judgment thst' just gazing relaxed and it was noticable to me. I grew more and more relaxed, realized I did try to figure out what front to take on ( bs crap ) and then let go, only to reground, recentre and feel amazing, like just present..lotsa boob display. Went to get some food, many girls ass bumping into me and shit...
Yet...
Idk. Something is missing.
Whatever. Had lotsa looks, but felt somewhat down, then IDK, then.needy. thats it. Validation seeking, neediness, subtle shit and just negative self beliefs in my internal being. It shows in my bodylanguage, or atleast did yesterday.
Got free drinks tho, before I knew it, it was handled by Jo and felt my pre-selection rise. Also hitting up the bartender, who I knew was met with no-nonsense attitude, minimal handling it off. Tgats my jam most of the time. Causal direction and leading stuff.
Muscles are twitching like some light seizure. Guess things are released. Im really going to push my.mind to the limit, my loops, to get shit done once and for all.
Shitton of hot women in this country that I aint even know anymore for which ones are manifestation or not. Doesnt matter, for all I know all are manifestation as that shit happens moment after moment subconsciously wise.
Anyways, I have no what I dreamed about, I do remember at one point I was soaking wet with sexual energy. Feeling very capable in a sense handling girls in a sexual way like some fucking p#rnstar. Im having more and more sexual dreams aswell, like instantly.
Oh well, yesterday felt like a bust and now having resistance to go out/back to that event. :/ like wtf, scarcity and emotions, feeling on the brink of crying.
Im not gonna stop DMSI.
Anyways, yesterday the resistance passed and I realized I could randomly start babbling about my cat oscar ( I dont have a cat ) and how he is a hot shot, thus being playfull, almost innocent and stuff, giving her an unlimited amount of things to progress on. Again, I can tell her how he is the boss of the neighbourhood, or silly, or any of that.
To come back to the event. I just finished a loop before and felt pretty much in my head. Music on in the car, volume high, cruising relaxed. Met up with a friend, with C and Jo, and it felt awkward. Thinkjng back on this feels like spiralling down. The f#ck is happening. When people engaged it went fluid. Anyways, the amount of hot women was ridiculous. No approaches but at least many positioning close, hairflips and shit. One girl was standing out, got my eye, and made me somewhat curious. Black lomg gair, toned, slim, B cup, deep clesr blue eyes. We met 2 times. Like, my eyes did trance out into hers till the point of closeness.
This happened countless times, eye contacting just dominating my will, relaxing and going with it. It felt beyond bs beliefs like 'oh perv this, judgment thst' just gazing relaxed and it was noticable to me. I grew more and more relaxed, realized I did try to figure out what front to take on ( bs crap ) and then let go, only to reground, recentre and feel amazing, like just present..lotsa boob display. Went to get some food, many girls ass bumping into me and shit...
Yet...
Idk. Something is missing.
Whatever. Had lotsa looks, but felt somewhat down, then IDK, then.needy. thats it. Validation seeking, neediness, subtle shit and just negative self beliefs in my internal being. It shows in my bodylanguage, or atleast did yesterday.
Got free drinks tho, before I knew it, it was handled by Jo and felt my pre-selection rise. Also hitting up the bartender, who I knew was met with no-nonsense attitude, minimal handling it off. Tgats my jam most of the time. Causal direction and leading stuff.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
