12-20-2016, 03:05 PM
Hey all,
Doing a journal on
DMSI 3.01
My intention is to track and share my progress.
As I agreed to give feedback on this experimental sub
I will track what is working,(in alignment with the goals of the program) what is not working,
and to see if what is not working is resistance, my own stuff coming up,
lack of effectiveness on my part, or something inherent within the script
let me preemptively say I love, value, and respect woman so if any of my recounts seem somewhat objectifying, take it with a grain of salt.
Day 1
Going to keep things short and crisp
I started with the version before 3.01 for one week and here is
what happened.
1. Went to meet my friends at a bar and within 30 seconds I am engaged
with super attractive woman, who is actively pursuing the conversation
2. Getting looks and felt sexual chemistry with many attractive woman throughout the night
3. Felt very relaxed and indifferent, yet still somewhat desirous, but a bit like there was no way I was going to approach or making anything happen on my own
4. This girl I'm crazy attracted to who started seeing my friend the week before, kept shimmying up to dance with me, I didn't cause, well, shes with my friend, but I really wanted to. She also asked me to sit on her lap while she was talking to him, that I did and we were all laughing about it, he looked a little pissed though.
Day 4
I go to see a girl I have been sleeping with from before the program
and while on the one hand its great, on the other something is off, I feel a little
out of my normal positive dominant sense of self, and find myself somewhat disgusted by her behavior, shes trying to be bossy in a cutesy and funny way that was turning me off, and she apologized and said she gets like that when she starts to see guys as more like boyfriends. She wanted me to stay over, I couldn't cause I had to pick up keys from somewhere else. We had a falling out two days later when I bumped into her at party, we have been on and off in touch and I want to get her out again, as I was being pretty inauthentic last time we were together. Worth noting that when I started DMSI a woman I had been seeing 1x a week for sex, but who wanted more, fell out of my life until recently, although I also totally see how I was responsible for that
found out shes 90% dating or was dating before we started sleeping together someone in a group through a program we do together , although we still have plans to meet up again.
Started DMSI 3.01
Things to note when started
1. was experiencing quite a bit emotional pain, shame, awkwardness, sense of weakness, and crazy jealousy (all things I naturally struggle(d) with ) and then periods of just feeling like the sexiest motherfucker on earth
2. Woman I have not been particularly attracted to kept dropping things in front of me lol at first I thought nothing of it and then it was like 4 in one day.
3. Started to have more and more moments of extremely attractive woman being near me, eye contact, and feeling personally like it was easy to talk to them, feels like were already lying in bed together just talking. We kind of just end up talking without trying or they start talking to me. These interactions are brief.
4. This is off set with moments of feeling like a repellent
5. And then there are moments that are a mix, like some woman are drawn in, some repelled, recently at a seminar the woman I was most attracted was seeming to ignore me , I talked to her later and she was super engaged, not smiling, and kept looking at my lips. She gave a really quick handshake and then seemed to actively ignore me from then on out. I'll note: I was having a really hard time paying attention to what she was saying and I think that came across
Then the next day I engaged a woman I was even more attracted to and we started talking about dating and she said she wants to "empower men as a career" and I said "that awesome, lets exchange numbers info collaborate". We did. Writing this I wish I said "I can think of a few ways you could empower me". She gave me a hug and said "wow your so cozy" and then She texted back super excited later that night, I didn't write her back cause I was seeing her the next day and got in my head about it, I'm 28 shes at least 37. Next day I saw her I really wanted to engage her but every time I did I felt like running and I didn't know what to say--this has not happened in a while lol
texted her today, have not heard back
6. of course experiencing crazy sexual energy , sometimes comfortable with it sometimes not
7. some concerns of what my subconscious understanding of attraction is, and if it will be in the way of attraction the woman I consciously desire and want.
8. Alot of anxiety at times about being sexually left out, like everyone else will end up with someone and I wont (also a long standing insecurity of mine coming out)
9. Much more a sense of accessible abundance, and activity seeking strength in myself and ways to be powerful outside of relating to woman. This is a surprise and kind of huge, I'm actively acting on things that were always visions of mine but never took any action on. Maybe being sexy is really all about purpose and actualizing vision, its hard not to be sexy when there are things much more important than any one woman could be.
been on version 3.01 for about 10 days
also been going 6-7 hours a night and just remembered reading something like the optimal loop is 3 cycles -anybody know anything about that? thanks
Doing a journal on
DMSI 3.01
My intention is to track and share my progress.
As I agreed to give feedback on this experimental sub
I will track what is working,(in alignment with the goals of the program) what is not working,
and to see if what is not working is resistance, my own stuff coming up,
lack of effectiveness on my part, or something inherent within the script
let me preemptively say I love, value, and respect woman so if any of my recounts seem somewhat objectifying, take it with a grain of salt.
Day 1
Going to keep things short and crisp
I started with the version before 3.01 for one week and here is
what happened.
1. Went to meet my friends at a bar and within 30 seconds I am engaged
with super attractive woman, who is actively pursuing the conversation
2. Getting looks and felt sexual chemistry with many attractive woman throughout the night
3. Felt very relaxed and indifferent, yet still somewhat desirous, but a bit like there was no way I was going to approach or making anything happen on my own
4. This girl I'm crazy attracted to who started seeing my friend the week before, kept shimmying up to dance with me, I didn't cause, well, shes with my friend, but I really wanted to. She also asked me to sit on her lap while she was talking to him, that I did and we were all laughing about it, he looked a little pissed though.
Day 4
I go to see a girl I have been sleeping with from before the program
and while on the one hand its great, on the other something is off, I feel a little
out of my normal positive dominant sense of self, and find myself somewhat disgusted by her behavior, shes trying to be bossy in a cutesy and funny way that was turning me off, and she apologized and said she gets like that when she starts to see guys as more like boyfriends. She wanted me to stay over, I couldn't cause I had to pick up keys from somewhere else. We had a falling out two days later when I bumped into her at party, we have been on and off in touch and I want to get her out again, as I was being pretty inauthentic last time we were together. Worth noting that when I started DMSI a woman I had been seeing 1x a week for sex, but who wanted more, fell out of my life until recently, although I also totally see how I was responsible for that
found out shes 90% dating or was dating before we started sleeping together someone in a group through a program we do together , although we still have plans to meet up again.
Started DMSI 3.01
Things to note when started
1. was experiencing quite a bit emotional pain, shame, awkwardness, sense of weakness, and crazy jealousy (all things I naturally struggle(d) with ) and then periods of just feeling like the sexiest motherfucker on earth
2. Woman I have not been particularly attracted to kept dropping things in front of me lol at first I thought nothing of it and then it was like 4 in one day.
3. Started to have more and more moments of extremely attractive woman being near me, eye contact, and feeling personally like it was easy to talk to them, feels like were already lying in bed together just talking. We kind of just end up talking without trying or they start talking to me. These interactions are brief.
4. This is off set with moments of feeling like a repellent
5. And then there are moments that are a mix, like some woman are drawn in, some repelled, recently at a seminar the woman I was most attracted was seeming to ignore me , I talked to her later and she was super engaged, not smiling, and kept looking at my lips. She gave a really quick handshake and then seemed to actively ignore me from then on out. I'll note: I was having a really hard time paying attention to what she was saying and I think that came across
Then the next day I engaged a woman I was even more attracted to and we started talking about dating and she said she wants to "empower men as a career" and I said "that awesome, lets exchange numbers info collaborate". We did. Writing this I wish I said "I can think of a few ways you could empower me". She gave me a hug and said "wow your so cozy" and then She texted back super excited later that night, I didn't write her back cause I was seeing her the next day and got in my head about it, I'm 28 shes at least 37. Next day I saw her I really wanted to engage her but every time I did I felt like running and I didn't know what to say--this has not happened in a while lol
texted her today, have not heard back
6. of course experiencing crazy sexual energy , sometimes comfortable with it sometimes not
7. some concerns of what my subconscious understanding of attraction is, and if it will be in the way of attraction the woman I consciously desire and want.
8. Alot of anxiety at times about being sexually left out, like everyone else will end up with someone and I wont (also a long standing insecurity of mine coming out)
9. Much more a sense of accessible abundance, and activity seeking strength in myself and ways to be powerful outside of relating to woman. This is a surprise and kind of huge, I'm actively acting on things that were always visions of mine but never took any action on. Maybe being sexy is really all about purpose and actualizing vision, its hard not to be sexy when there are things much more important than any one woman could be.
been on version 3.01 for about 10 days
also been going 6-7 hours a night and just remembered reading something like the optimal loop is 3 cycles -anybody know anything about that? thanks
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
