Day 6 and 7
Before I get to the actual Journal entry, one thing I need to state is that the last 7 days of my life feel like an entire year has gone by. I'm not sure if it is because of the way the healing modules work, but the entire concept of time has lost all meaning.
Day 6
Since the first day of using DMSI I had a headache again. A rather dull one. The difference this time is that I didn't reach for a bottle of Advil to address the pain. I dealt with the headaches. During the process I recalled several unpleasant memories. Memories of when people had disrespected me in the past. Memories of situations that had absolutely no real positive value in my life. Memories that I have very willingly suppressed.
I realized that a lot of the changes that had occurred over the years for me came from me accepting that these issues never existed previously.
The other thing that happened is that I realized I needed to drop some of my old friends. These are friends I have known for 20 years. But, staying friends just for the sake of time doesn't seem worth it anymore. Especially since I live a completely different life from them now. I strived to make myself better, and I feel like the majority of them stayed the same because they were comfortable with that.
I ended my evening making a few changes to my phone contacts.
Day 7
I woke up this morning hornier than I have been in months. The desire for sex has just taken itself to new heights. That was followed with a few moments of looking in the mirror and not being happy with what I saw in the mirror.
This was followed with small moments of an inner rage. A lot of my old insecurities came up - things that bothered me when I was much younger.
At some point during the day I didn't recognize the person staring back at me.
Those feelings subsided.
I did have a desire a few times yesterday and today to run DMSI 2.3. I didn't and am not going to yet. I jumped from 2.3 to 2.4 after 10 days. I want to see 2.4 through. I need to see it through for myself and because I don't think I can give a fair assessment of something until I have give the program itself a chance.
I do feel like the next few weeks maybe a pendulum of emotions until either I resolve some of my own inner conflicts and or one desire outweighs the other.
Until then, I'll be living with the emotional bull running wild in a china shop.
Before I get to the actual Journal entry, one thing I need to state is that the last 7 days of my life feel like an entire year has gone by. I'm not sure if it is because of the way the healing modules work, but the entire concept of time has lost all meaning.
Day 6
Since the first day of using DMSI I had a headache again. A rather dull one. The difference this time is that I didn't reach for a bottle of Advil to address the pain. I dealt with the headaches. During the process I recalled several unpleasant memories. Memories of when people had disrespected me in the past. Memories of situations that had absolutely no real positive value in my life. Memories that I have very willingly suppressed.
I realized that a lot of the changes that had occurred over the years for me came from me accepting that these issues never existed previously.
The other thing that happened is that I realized I needed to drop some of my old friends. These are friends I have known for 20 years. But, staying friends just for the sake of time doesn't seem worth it anymore. Especially since I live a completely different life from them now. I strived to make myself better, and I feel like the majority of them stayed the same because they were comfortable with that.
I ended my evening making a few changes to my phone contacts.
Day 7
I woke up this morning hornier than I have been in months. The desire for sex has just taken itself to new heights. That was followed with a few moments of looking in the mirror and not being happy with what I saw in the mirror.
This was followed with small moments of an inner rage. A lot of my old insecurities came up - things that bothered me when I was much younger.
At some point during the day I didn't recognize the person staring back at me.
Those feelings subsided.
I did have a desire a few times yesterday and today to run DMSI 2.3. I didn't and am not going to yet. I jumped from 2.3 to 2.4 after 10 days. I want to see 2.4 through. I need to see it through for myself and because I don't think I can give a fair assessment of something until I have give the program itself a chance.
I do feel like the next few weeks maybe a pendulum of emotions until either I resolve some of my own inner conflicts and or one desire outweighs the other.
Until then, I'll be living with the emotional bull running wild in a china shop.
