Alright, so, as I mentioned in RTBoss's journal im pretty much hostile, annoyed and snappy. Partly due to the no bs module and the overal massive changes. Im feeling 'out of vibration' and deserve more, higher value people all around.
Friend of mine ( and I notice the gap and meaninglessness now ) threw an message in the grouos whatsapp about going to this venue this weekend. Im hellbend on taking responsibility/self responsibility now, because I want and follow my will and wants at this point. It feels petty to join this activity. Perhaps its a way of procrastination, avoiding success. Idk. It might be.
Im in the situation of people seeking me out, im having high social proof, and when Im not escalating ( with "J" at work, I literally locked her in with some necklace randomly, playing with her hair on the workfloor, having R calling me out its a seduction tactic, the logistics didnt work out ( workingplace ) yet it happened automatically ) its evolving fast. When I didnt proceed ( due reason, bs beliefs and what not ) I felt rather bad.
Z is begging me for sex, not getting the hint im not interested ( example of her contacting me via instagram... 'hey, do you want to do something with me this weekend?) Guess I have to let her down.
I, russian mixed girl, is also glued. Im feeling im growing lightyears beyond my prime. While she stood next to me, it was like mini date. Totally relaxed and feeling heat coming from my body, finding ways to engage me. Its like a similar pattern in all girls.
K is reaching out more.
Anyways, not feeling like journalling much. I come to realize im consciously to much involved. This is slowly changing and ramping up my natural DMSI state. Its funny actually.
Relationship dynamics, fun, attitude, all is way up. Im very easy going, not caring to much, and more organuc natural. People pump their heads way to full with bs while its the other way around. You already got this. It only goes deeper and deeper as FRM keeps proceeding, being more and more executing as stuff falls into place more and more.Remove the blinds, layers and blindfolds ( heh ) trust the process. In my case it was a way to "force things ) now, agression is very much present, im breaking fear walls through stopping by, questioning and letting go off it, seeing it for what bs it is, ridiculous at times, other times im like "fuck it" and going through this mist.
I even had a spontaneous evocation while being half trance like, watching it before me, like a "me and you" dynamic, while dozing off to sleep.
My kink talk is shameless free. Im way more comfortable in my sexual skin.
Im taking the lead, fun free, flowy, saying what on my mind, mixing seduction and persuasion with lightness.
Im executing for sure, im noticing it in all my interactions. Z could be a succes and design goals achieved, but shes far from who I want to bang.
Things seem way less of a deal. Natural leading and takung responsibility. It almost feels unreal to an extent it is just there.
When im not procrastinating, im hitting my goals in succession one after another.
Im also back in bodymodification, tatts, artistery, music and aspire to become a tattoo artist now as one of my goals. Skills are always handy. I can draw so yeah.
Friend of mine ( and I notice the gap and meaninglessness now ) threw an message in the grouos whatsapp about going to this venue this weekend. Im hellbend on taking responsibility/self responsibility now, because I want and follow my will and wants at this point. It feels petty to join this activity. Perhaps its a way of procrastination, avoiding success. Idk. It might be.
Im in the situation of people seeking me out, im having high social proof, and when Im not escalating ( with "J" at work, I literally locked her in with some necklace randomly, playing with her hair on the workfloor, having R calling me out its a seduction tactic, the logistics didnt work out ( workingplace ) yet it happened automatically ) its evolving fast. When I didnt proceed ( due reason, bs beliefs and what not ) I felt rather bad.
Z is begging me for sex, not getting the hint im not interested ( example of her contacting me via instagram... 'hey, do you want to do something with me this weekend?) Guess I have to let her down.
I, russian mixed girl, is also glued. Im feeling im growing lightyears beyond my prime. While she stood next to me, it was like mini date. Totally relaxed and feeling heat coming from my body, finding ways to engage me. Its like a similar pattern in all girls.
K is reaching out more.
Anyways, not feeling like journalling much. I come to realize im consciously to much involved. This is slowly changing and ramping up my natural DMSI state. Its funny actually.
Relationship dynamics, fun, attitude, all is way up. Im very easy going, not caring to much, and more organuc natural. People pump their heads way to full with bs while its the other way around. You already got this. It only goes deeper and deeper as FRM keeps proceeding, being more and more executing as stuff falls into place more and more.Remove the blinds, layers and blindfolds ( heh ) trust the process. In my case it was a way to "force things ) now, agression is very much present, im breaking fear walls through stopping by, questioning and letting go off it, seeing it for what bs it is, ridiculous at times, other times im like "fuck it" and going through this mist.
I even had a spontaneous evocation while being half trance like, watching it before me, like a "me and you" dynamic, while dozing off to sleep.
My kink talk is shameless free. Im way more comfortable in my sexual skin.
Im taking the lead, fun free, flowy, saying what on my mind, mixing seduction and persuasion with lightness.
Im executing for sure, im noticing it in all my interactions. Z could be a succes and design goals achieved, but shes far from who I want to bang.
Things seem way less of a deal. Natural leading and takung responsibility. It almost feels unreal to an extent it is just there.
When im not procrastinating, im hitting my goals in succession one after another.
Im also back in bodymodification, tatts, artistery, music and aspire to become a tattoo artist now as one of my goals. Skills are always handy. I can draw so yeah.
