DMSI 3.3.2 - Changing my norm

[CatMan]

This made me laugh guys.  I was at work, and these posts were really funny.

Cuz geez, I's do has DAMSI 3.3.2!  I's used to call it dimsee, but I read sum people's are ritin it wrong.  So I dun corected it!

So NAAA!!

Best not ta be ignint hear in this subiminal form

Literally read this in Jar Jar Bink's voice. LMAO!

Exsqueeze me!?

Just going to leave this mind blowing classic here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezcP-Ys_voY

[Paul1131]

This made me laugh guys.  I was at work, and these posts were really funny.

Cuz geez, I's do has DAMSI 3.3.2!  I's used to call it dimsee, but I read sum people's are ritin it wrong.  So I dun corected it!

So NAAA!!

Best not ta be ignint hear in this subiminal form

You done been learned to rite real good.

[findingme]

tanx. me's wents to scool's for a longs longs timeses. I's smot nows

[findingme]

While Windows 10 was updating on my PC last night, DMSI dropped, so I downloaded it onto my Chromebook to listen. I made the playlist, checked the volume, got tired, and habitually closed my Chromebook up, killing the sub. Funny enough, I did sleep good. Before realizing what had happened, I thought "this feels good "

But I'm running loops now. Will give feedback later.

[findingme]

Having some fears escalate. I have been chatting with a bitcoin miner friend of mine, as he showed me some solutions recently. Sitting here, I realize my norm has always been a "hideout" mentality, like hiding when scared. These financial doorways have been opening, even this week, and part of me is scared.

I'm unsure what the FRM is doing, but it's definitely moving.

[findingme]

I just got back from a long walk. I realized I've done this walk during the start of numerous subs and journals, and I remember doing it on DMSI 2.??

I'd been inside all day, reading on my Chromebook, reaching out to 2 miners, nothing of major consequence. So, when I got outside, I became aware that I was a little somber. Strange, as I wasn't feeling it so clearly when inside. At this moment I don't have absolute and controlled answers. Just whiffs of emotion linked to deeper truths.

Something I've seen numerous times throughout my day are my normal emotional escape routes. I noticed the hideout mentality this morning. While walking, I felt that heavy emotion in me, but also became aware of the tendency to look for attention so I'd be distracted. I thought of me being goofy here on my thread before starting DMSI. And, I didn't feel scared being aware of them. This allowed my honest emotions to remain. I was being honest with myself, and I desired it.

I realize, and have realized a few times today, that I've craved a healthy, honest relationship with a woman, and my fear-based distractions keep me and them away. One example of this showed up on my walk. A tan, blond, woman in a sheer white dress was out in her yard taking her small pooch out for a potty break. She was maybe 50-60. I was a house away, eyeing her, but coming her way. She noticed me, and I kept looking. I felt an anxiety at first. But then, I looked away--without me consciously trying to do so. Within seconds I knew why. I was putting on a front, and part of me took over, extinguishing the possibility for living out a front, a lie. Me being honest with someone I know is preferable ANY day vs. lying to a stranger. That was a nice revelation.

I'm not sure what you've done in DMSI Shannon, but that's not really important. I like what I'm feeling. I've associated almost any socializing with me lying, so obviously, I don't socialize much. It kills my confidence when I lie to look good, and I live in regret after. If DMSI can help me be myself in front of others, then thank you.

I'm considering going out early tomorrow, just so I can feel my honesty around others.

[findingme]

There is something I need to share. These are my intentions for using DMSI now.

While on LTU5, I was awoken a few times to a desire to be known exactly as I am by a woman, and accepted for it. I've spent most of my life hiding the real me inside, and even the emotion I felt this afternoon while walking is DMSI pushing me out of my comfort zone, for the self-deception has held me in. My intention is to learn to fully accept myself as I am, and thus attract other honest females around me.

My strongest reason for beginning DMSI was Goal #2: to develop, enhance and improve my self esteem, self respect, sense of self worth, self liking, self love, self validation, self support, self confidence, self image, feelings of deservingness and to overcome fear and so forth.

I've thought of Kol's mindset when he was using DMSI: he thought he was BOSS!! He felt he deserved the best. People felt it and actually acquiesced to him.

It's inspiring, and I'm encouraged by results thus far.

[findingme]

This is.....weird. I had ideas of going to the beach this morning. Drank coffee at 9 last night so I didn't sleep until 4AM. I woke up, began following my heart and mind, decided against the beach (too isolating per my normal thinking) and thought "where could I go?" I want to be around people (not my norm). Then realized.......... church.

My thoughts (normal survival ones ) are "hide in the back". Hmmm... let me see how this goes.

On DMSI, the strangest things will happen. (That could be a sales line)

[Shannon]

You realize you're breaking rule 4 by discussing the things banned by rule 4 here, even though you try to cloak it. Please correct your post.

[findingme]

I'm going to share what stood out to me this morning. I'm not wishing to violate rule 4.

I went with different thinking (being social), but habitual fears were still present. A couple of things were different for me this time while there.

1. I wasn't seeking everyone's attention. In fact, I felt purposely dismissive of some interactions since I've been a "yes man" in this setting for many years. I've had the same mindset at work, so I'll see how I act tomorrow.

2. When a speaker prompted us all to do something simultaneously, I didn't. I resisted my "follow the crowd" mentality.

3. Immediately after #2 happened, I had this detached clear thought, like "why?" This was new thinking in this setting, for fear of being different has overrun logic many times.

4. When I began leaving like I've always done, part of me felt uncomfortable. This part fought me leaving. But the fear had gotten louder (much), and I left quickly, with mixed feelings.

I did have an attractive woman stop me before I left. I recognized her face. She said we were in teacher certification classes back in 2004, and she's teaching 3rd grade locally. She even remembered my name. I found her attractive... hmmm. We talked for 2 minutes or so before we both departed. I'm glad I had this conversation.

And fear, as a whole, does not seem so powerful presently. But I am running loops now.

[findingme]

I know DMSI is working, and I noticed something which was exciting to see.

I was driving home from work, having worked well with one dude all day, and I was just letting my mind drift. I thought I'd seen a young pretty Latina walking (she works just up the street from my place), and my mind suddenly flipped to imagining me being more interactive with her when I see her at her work.

This is newsworthy to me since I normally feel nervous around beautiful women, and I'm actually quite a homebody. I know I'm going to go to this store tomorrow morning before work, but I actually (and easily) imagined just going today. Like me leaving church yesterday, a small fight ensued in my thoughts, part saying "GO!!" and part saying "No. I'm scared!" The scared side won, but I thought I'd share this.

I also remembered this is scripted, which is why I'm reporting it.

Goal #3: To guide you to help create these opportunities by being in the right place at the right time and doing the right things.

To clarify my point, I actually had want and desire to "be out there". Weird (exciting too), coming from me

[findingme]

To clarify why I wanted to visit the store this afternoon when the latina was walking and not at work...

I had this growing sensation in me to be where I could be seen. This is what caught my attention. I'm an introvert, but this excited me. I've not clearly seen or detected the celebrity effect that is reported by so many, but it felt like I wanted to swim in this realization. Maybe it was the celebrity effect.

Having had some hours pass since then, I see my old fears still doing a poor me victim stance, using anything to hold dominance. The feeling which fought me going today? It felt like something dying in me, crying loudly for mercy, which confused me enough to route myself home. Feeling sexy mixed with a feeling of death? There'd be another day.

[findingme]

A FRM wondering:

I've noticed the last 2 days (been on DMSI 3 days now), my name recall has definitely been off. I noticed it today while talking with a coworker, and I noticed it while showering tonight.

I'm wondering if the FRM is loosening me up from so many relationship fears I've held to, and I'm speaking of both men and women. For example, my coworker was REALLY in my corner today, saying again and again how he'd always back me were our jobs switched. I'd done a lot more than other workers had with him, and he was really appreciative. But I noticed my own fears trying to come out. The fear was "you may hurt me if I trust you", which comes from me and my brother's past since I relied on him heavily growing up.

So, I've been spotty at times with names, realizing that I've used others to (unknowingly) shield me from my own fears. I've used this a lot at work, and this is where I've been noticing the change.

[findingme]

I read about (oops) 4Kingdom's overtime run, and I'd just gotten home. I had been running at full steam at work and was really enjoying it. I was even asked to do some overtime if willing, and I said yes. After thinking about it for 5 minutes, I changed my mind. I was in high gear today partly because of caffeine. Maybe some emotional freedom as well, but I cut out with only 8 hours, slightly feeling the mental tiredness coming on. I took a 15 minute catnap during lunch (a norm for me anyway) but upon getting up, I had energy. I ran with it, but pulled back to get enough rest tonight.

DMSI is slowly building a tiredness in me. Not plaguing, but....different than past 5.5 subs. No headache or full-on exhaustion, just a gradual buildup and realization that it's reprogramming my whole thought process.

I'm feeling more confident, and this is without direct linkage to fear. That's something I can actually rest in. In times past, confidence was me always standing on top of some fear I was trying to control. However, fear seems very brittle overall presently. There's some, yes, but a lot of holes have been poked in it