DMSI 3.3.1D- Eros Awakens

[Oversoul]

I'm calm like a sea just before a violent storm. Do you feel the same?

Id say 50% of the times yes. the other 50% of the time, I'm in the storm fighting whatever.

Also, I feel physically sick when I see porn. I love that module. lol

Also contrary to what my posts indicate, Im actually 'happy' 60-80% of the the time. I just tend to show my 'happy' emotions MUCH less in public.

[Oversoul]

Brain reframe: I got trust issues not because there was no connection but because I go in assuming theres rules to the relationship.

So keep the connection but always go in assuming there no rules. I feel stupid as to why I did not think like this before.

[Oversoul]

Started loops of silent flac today. For whatever reason, since starting it, I am becoming more sensitive and compassionate towards myself, and I'm still on the first loop.

[Oversoul]

I dont wanna fight anything anymore.

Im too internally tired to internally fight anything or anyone. Funny thing is, not fighting seems to bring out a sense of fear as it was almost the only way I would have been able to keep my identity, personality and willpower. Now Im too tired.

[Oversoul]

Was in a random discord server chatting to a group of girls. Main subject of conversation: my penis


Not a big deal but they all seemed way more receptive to me than with other people.

[Shadow2200]

Getting girls talking about sex parts is always a great place to be

[Oversoul]

Getting girls talking about sex parts is always a great place to be

Definitely agree. Fun too.

The fact thats subs work and work so well have affirmed my thought that everything in this reality is some sort of an illusion. I mean, if subconscious thoughts can change so much of 'reality', what really is reality?

 I'm in a mindstate now where my thought process is 'f**k this fake illusion and emotions people throw at me, I feel how I wanna feel regardless of anything, and Im gonna  be ecstatic, happy and relaxed no matter what'

[Oversoul]

Girls are looking at me all angry and sad like I rejected them, or they think I did something bad to them now. Resistance?

[Oversoul]

Had a dream that I was an owner of a business in contract with the White House- but the white house was closed. I was therefore angry at someone (I think an employee) for not knowing that and wasting my time.

There was also a baby there, who was happy at first but started crying when it saw another baby crying. The more attention I put on the baby, the less it was crying. Then I realized, the baby was only crying out of either empathy or to fit in. Essentially it was weakening itself for the two reasons.

As soon as I realized that, the baby became 'strong' and detached and more self centered and directed. Its energy changed too.

[Oversoul]

Also had a dream where me and a friend entered a casino and I started finding coins everywhere. I just found and took piles of coins that were lying around unclaimed by everyone.

[Oversoul]

Im gonna put my 'business endeavours' on this journal as well as it takes such a large part of my life and thinking.

Also, DMSI helps a lot with it as it increased my likability.

[Shadow2200]

DMSI dose get you noticed

[Oversoul]

DMSI dose get you noticed

Definitely.

Had a weird dream few weeks back of a girl touching me while a song was playing.

Next time I saw her in 'waking' life, the EXACT song was playing and she was sitting smirking at me.

It scared the shit out of me initially.

The song:

[Shadow2200]

DMSI dose get you noticed

Definitely.

Had a weird dream few weeks back of a girl touching me while a song was playing.

Next time I saw her in 'waking' life, the EXACT song was playing and she was sitting smirking at me.

It scared the shit out of me initially.

The song:

Deja vu