01-24-2019, 06:12 PM
(01-24-2019, 04:50 PM)Williamx25 Wrote: It’s 01:45 AM and I can’t sleep. I feel immense sadness because of my life and the cards that I have been dealt. I am thinking about suicide, i’m crying and I play constant scenes about horrible future outcomes. Behold: this may have nothing to do with DMSI.
I am currently playing DMSI-3.3.1D 5.5G on ultra-sonic sound. I have it on VLC mediaplayer and I listen at 8/16th clicks.
I fantasize about stabbing myself in my neck, to see the blood flowing until my soul exits my body. I suddenly have these weird thoughts and angerness. About everything. Like I really want to hurt myself. I think of my parents, my mom and dad, why my life turned out the way it is now. Started to go bald at the age of 14. Going through a miserable period of highschool, adolescenthood and all the negativity of the past in my miserable lonely life.
I seriously doubt and wonder why my parents ever decided to reproduce. I know one thing for sure. I don’t want any family or kids later in life. And I am asking myself what the point of living is.
I don’t know what the **** is happening. Maybe this is all a huge giant shit test. I feel empty and dead inside.
DMSI-3.3.1D: day 2
Nofap: day 4
Yo, please call or go see a close friend - anyone you trust and love. If you're alone, and you probably are, go do something. Go for a walk, get out of your head. Do anything that will break your current train of thought. If you're seriously suicidal, obviously don't worry about breaking ASRB. Just remember, there's always a person that exists in the world who loves you more than you love yourself.
I've been dark places in the past, and it always ends. I always find a way to make it end. You will, too, if you'll keep a way open to allow that to happen. It may take time, but you can do it.
And btw, there a lot of people who don't have hair on their head. And if you think it's not attractive, there are a lot of women who love bald men.
