01-24-2019, 04:50 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-24-2019, 04:56 PM by Williamx25.)
It’s 01:45 AM and I can’t sleep. I feel immense sadness because of my life and the cards that I have been dealt. I am thinking about suicide, i’m crying and I play constant scenes about horrible future outcomes. Behold: this may have nothing to do with DMSI.
I am currently playing DMSI-3.3.1D 5.5G on ultra-sonic sound. I have it on VLC mediaplayer and I listen at 8/16th clicks.
I fantasize about stabbing myself in my neck, to see the blood flowing until my soul exits my body. I suddenly have these weird thoughts and angerness. About everything. Like I really want to hurt myself. I think of my parents, my mom and dad, why my life turned out the way it is now. Started to go bald at the age of 14. Going through a miserable period of highschool, adolescenthood and all the negativity of the past in my miserable lonely life.
I seriously doubt and wonder why my parents ever decided to reproduce. I know one thing for sure. I don’t want any family or kids later in life. And I am asking myself what the point of living is.
I don’t know what the fuck is happening. Maybe this is all a huge giant shit test. I feel empty and dead inside.
DMSI-3.3.1D: day 2
Nofap: day 4
I am currently playing DMSI-3.3.1D 5.5G on ultra-sonic sound. I have it on VLC mediaplayer and I listen at 8/16th clicks.
I fantasize about stabbing myself in my neck, to see the blood flowing until my soul exits my body. I suddenly have these weird thoughts and angerness. About everything. Like I really want to hurt myself. I think of my parents, my mom and dad, why my life turned out the way it is now. Started to go bald at the age of 14. Going through a miserable period of highschool, adolescenthood and all the negativity of the past in my miserable lonely life.
I seriously doubt and wonder why my parents ever decided to reproduce. I know one thing for sure. I don’t want any family or kids later in life. And I am asking myself what the point of living is.
I don’t know what the fuck is happening. Maybe this is all a huge giant shit test. I feel empty and dead inside.
DMSI-3.3.1D: day 2
Nofap: day 4
