05-28-2018, 11:50 AM
(05-27-2018, 08:49 AM)findingme Wrote: Hey Zane, I'm facing resistance in both the women front and also the business front, and I'm wishing to share. I'm not worried about the women front since change is happening, and just running DMSI is steadily rewiring me thinking in regards to this. I'm feeling this internal change daily. My resistance is mostly me feeling afraid to purposely socialize. I've not done it much these last 2 weekends---and here is my thinking: I think I "should be" or need to be an extrovert. That is such a false belief of mine, for when I've been me around others, I find both men and women will naturally gravitate towards me, opening up conversations and relaxing when I'm comfortable with myself. I've been holding on to this false expectation of myself to basically......not be myself--to be "on" all the time. And doing that demands that they, too, must not be free to be themselves. It discourages interaction strongly, IMO.
And this is exactly where I've had brakes on in my own business starting up. I think I need to "dis" myself. I am fighting that "should" strongly. B is motivating me to be honest with myself, and the long-held belief that I needed to be always "on" in business is not mixing well at all.
I talked about these brakes last night with a fellow I meet with on Saturdays. I needed to talk it out, so I did. I just get in this cycle of "if I fail myself in any way, I should punish myself" It's old thinking and training from childhood, and honestly, I just connected the dots. It's "If I feel bad, I must be doing something wrong" thinking.......and it doesn't work OR feel good. Maybe I'm actually letting it go, and I'm fighting it. I am listening to B as I write, so that's why I connected this.
What's your thinking like on B presently?
Well tbh right now "B" is working so deep that I sometimes feel as if DMSI isnt even working. But when I see the change in my attitude and my behaviour then I am like" Yep its working"
Also right now I am not meeting any new people so I dont know how I am responding to social situations. But one thing is for sure I seriously dont want to meet anyone right now. Dont feel like it. Some part of me wants to and some doesnt. Its kinda confusing to right now...Cause I cant figure it out..It feels more like as if I am procrastinating to socialise with people ...Feels like a Chore to me. People can visit me if they want to socialise and I wouldnt mind but I wont visit them cause feels like a chore tbh....Lets see where all this go..
But yeah dont think too much about socialising it will only drain u. Just keep calm and u will eventually socialise easily. There is no need to punish urself..Instead u should forgive and dont be harsh on urself...Treat urself nicely and watch the magic happen..
