Right now I feel as if there is nothing in this world that will make me happy..I mean I dont find pleasure in anything. I have no desire to eat my fav snack, watch movies and anime or listen to music. Infact I feel as if they make me more exhausted.
Its like I wanna doing something to escape these frustrated and trapped feelings but idk what it is ...I cant find anything that will help me escape it. Its like I have no choice to live with it..
Even if I do come up with something that might have helped me escape or get me mentally high to escape these feelings the "Idc,idgaf,idgad,who the fuck cares,fuck off attitude,go to hell , leave me alone" attitude kicks in.
I dont feel like talking to anyone or making this journal but I am doing cause these healing phases are important. All this frustration trapped inside my heart and chest is so uncomfortable.
Idk if I can take these feelings anymore. I dont feel like stopping this sub cause its kinda good but i am so uncomfortable right now.
Yesterday was as if my past came in front of me so that I can deal with it it wasnt bad it include checking my ex-gf fb and his bf..(its been 2 years) .Wasnt jealous of her but I hated his Bf for like 10 min and then after that I stopped gaving any damn and fuck..
Then I saw some 10 years old video of myself and my family and stupid things we did..Then I checked my high school friends and some one them are working in abroad while I did nothing for 7 years..Felt bad but then was over those feelings..
But what I am feeling right now is worse than yesterday..Some kinda breakthrough going to happen ..idk..
I seriously wanna give a Damn and Fuck...but I cant seem to
I dont think even fapping is gonna help me with these cause I did it yesterday and it worse today.
I wonder if these were the feeling I was trying to numb before..Because fapping did help me numb those before I even noticed it but now its like there is no escape...Damn Idk if this is "The Wall" Shannon was talking about but ...fuck its fucking me hard ..
Its like I wanna doing something to escape these frustrated and trapped feelings but idk what it is ...I cant find anything that will help me escape it. Its like I have no choice to live with it..
Even if I do come up with something that might have helped me escape or get me mentally high to escape these feelings the "Idc,idgaf,idgad,who the fuck cares,fuck off attitude,go to hell , leave me alone" attitude kicks in.
I dont feel like talking to anyone or making this journal but I am doing cause these healing phases are important. All this frustration trapped inside my heart and chest is so uncomfortable.
Idk if I can take these feelings anymore. I dont feel like stopping this sub cause its kinda good but i am so uncomfortable right now.
Yesterday was as if my past came in front of me so that I can deal with it it wasnt bad it include checking my ex-gf fb and his bf..(its been 2 years) .Wasnt jealous of her but I hated his Bf for like 10 min and then after that I stopped gaving any damn and fuck..
Then I saw some 10 years old video of myself and my family and stupid things we did..Then I checked my high school friends and some one them are working in abroad while I did nothing for 7 years..Felt bad but then was over those feelings..
But what I am feeling right now is worse than yesterday..Some kinda breakthrough going to happen ..idk..
I seriously wanna give a Damn and Fuck...but I cant seem to
I dont think even fapping is gonna help me with these cause I did it yesterday and it worse today.
I wonder if these were the feeling I was trying to numb before..Because fapping did help me numb those before I even noticed it but now its like there is no escape...Damn Idk if this is "The Wall" Shannon was talking about but ...fuck its fucking me hard ..
