This may not relate to DMSI, but AM, were I on it. I've not used either yet.
I was clocking out of work, and 3 guys from a department I'd worked with these last 2 years were talking. One of them I'd seen at one of our stops last Monday (7 days ago), and I'd not thought of it.
Well, the driver I'd seen last Monday, who's from the Dominican Republic, came over to me talking fast (poor English), and he insisted I knew what he began ranting about. He was saying I should have done something differently last Monday--but I have no idea what. He'd held a grudge for 7 days without saying anything to me.
I was tired. It felt similar to a drunk guy coming up believing I read minds, so he ranted thinking I understood why. I didn't. He wanted to rant. I wanted peace, so I just smiled at him, hoping he'd get my IDGAF attitude.
This bothered me AFTER it went down only since another worker had come in the room, witnessed it, and remarked about it after the guy left.
I asked "what would you have done?"
He said "I'd have ARGUED with him! Noone would talk to me like that!"
I said I was tired, and I was waiting for him to shut up.
He replied, sensing it, "you really didn't GAF".
I didn't. Not then.
I appreciated his honesty. I left to go home. The last guy's remark DID make sense, and my anger grew on the drive home. I'd treated the ranting guy like I wanted him to be my friend. I let him beat me up in 30 seconds of ranting while I wished (connecting to my childhood now) to "make sure he still loved me". That's why I was "nice". I was afraid he'd leave me and not "love me".
I know a major hurt I've carried for decades involves my one brother leaving me/abandoning me while we were teens. He was the only one I leaned on, and he left. He moved in with a worker's family never to return home. My mom was the only one home with me after he left, and we never spoke about this. Never.
I'm not sure if DMSI will or will not use this is as a healing focus. I thought I'd share it since I'm kind of expecting more to come up. I've had more sensitivity to this in recent weeks.
I was clocking out of work, and 3 guys from a department I'd worked with these last 2 years were talking. One of them I'd seen at one of our stops last Monday (7 days ago), and I'd not thought of it.
Well, the driver I'd seen last Monday, who's from the Dominican Republic, came over to me talking fast (poor English), and he insisted I knew what he began ranting about. He was saying I should have done something differently last Monday--but I have no idea what. He'd held a grudge for 7 days without saying anything to me.
I was tired. It felt similar to a drunk guy coming up believing I read minds, so he ranted thinking I understood why. I didn't. He wanted to rant. I wanted peace, so I just smiled at him, hoping he'd get my IDGAF attitude.
This bothered me AFTER it went down only since another worker had come in the room, witnessed it, and remarked about it after the guy left.
I asked "what would you have done?"
He said "I'd have ARGUED with him! Noone would talk to me like that!"
I said I was tired, and I was waiting for him to shut up.
He replied, sensing it, "you really didn't GAF".
I didn't. Not then.
I appreciated his honesty. I left to go home. The last guy's remark DID make sense, and my anger grew on the drive home. I'd treated the ranting guy like I wanted him to be my friend. I let him beat me up in 30 seconds of ranting while I wished (connecting to my childhood now) to "make sure he still loved me". That's why I was "nice". I was afraid he'd leave me and not "love me".
I know a major hurt I've carried for decades involves my one brother leaving me/abandoning me while we were teens. He was the only one I leaned on, and he left. He moved in with a worker's family never to return home. My mom was the only one home with me after he left, and we never spoke about this. Never.
I'm not sure if DMSI will or will not use this is as a healing focus. I thought I'd share it since I'm kind of expecting more to come up. I've had more sensitivity to this in recent weeks.
I want to be FREE!
