This is me reaching out to you guys for help.
I have been feeling somewhat numb / apathetic lately. intentionally trying to numb myself to stop feeling painful emotions.
I am not over that last chick yet. Even though I feel better then I did a month ago.
Whenever I think about her I feel very upset and feel like someone's died.
I'm having a difficult time getting over the fact that I won't be able to see her again even as friends.
I went out last night to downtown bars and I had a great time, I didn't think about her. I don't think about her all the time but when I do it's very upsetting to me. I am trying to force myself to stop thinking about her.
I feel somewhat suicidal tonight, although I don't feel AT ALL like I would act on those feelings. My logic / reasoning is still there so I don't need help to not commit suicide or anything like that because I wouldn't do that.
But the thoughts are there.
I want your guys advice on what I should do to help myself, I feel like someones died and even though there are so many fish in the sea, no two fish are the same.
There will never be anyone with that exact personality / looks that she had and that's what upsets me the most.
I need your guys help please.
Another thing that is bothering me is that the escort chick likes me and I like her and anytime I want I can ask her out and she will agree to a date.
But i'm afraid of developing feelings for her given her situation and becoming jealous and causing myself more pain.
Im very attracted to her physically and mentally. born same day too the chemistry is quiet strong so far.
this was our last conversation on friday
"I'm glad you quit the massage parlor (still escorting but quit massage place)
if it was up to me Id wish you didnt have to work in that industry at all
but im not here to change you or tell you what to do
just know i dont like it or find it attractive"
she said
"says the one who met through the industry lol,
i get it though, believe me when i say that..its not a forever thing
i got plans anyways. hope your weekend goes by quick in there (jail)
have an amazing weekend and take it easy xoxo"
I was 10 min away from having to go in for the weekend thats why she said bye.
I have been feeling somewhat numb / apathetic lately. intentionally trying to numb myself to stop feeling painful emotions.
I am not over that last chick yet. Even though I feel better then I did a month ago.
Whenever I think about her I feel very upset and feel like someone's died.
I'm having a difficult time getting over the fact that I won't be able to see her again even as friends.
I went out last night to downtown bars and I had a great time, I didn't think about her. I don't think about her all the time but when I do it's very upsetting to me. I am trying to force myself to stop thinking about her.
I feel somewhat suicidal tonight, although I don't feel AT ALL like I would act on those feelings. My logic / reasoning is still there so I don't need help to not commit suicide or anything like that because I wouldn't do that.
But the thoughts are there.
I want your guys advice on what I should do to help myself, I feel like someones died and even though there are so many fish in the sea, no two fish are the same.
There will never be anyone with that exact personality / looks that she had and that's what upsets me the most.
I need your guys help please.
Another thing that is bothering me is that the escort chick likes me and I like her and anytime I want I can ask her out and she will agree to a date.
But i'm afraid of developing feelings for her given her situation and becoming jealous and causing myself more pain.
Im very attracted to her physically and mentally. born same day too the chemistry is quiet strong so far.
this was our last conversation on friday
"I'm glad you quit the massage parlor (still escorting but quit massage place)
if it was up to me Id wish you didnt have to work in that industry at all
but im not here to change you or tell you what to do
just know i dont like it or find it attractive"
she said
"says the one who met through the industry lol,
i get it though, believe me when i say that..its not a forever thing
i got plans anyways. hope your weekend goes by quick in there (jail)
have an amazing weekend and take it easy xoxo"
I was 10 min away from having to go in for the weekend thats why she said bye.
