08-16-2018, 03:29 AM
Reread my insight the other day. Guess I fell off with that mentality. I need to stop putting the focus on fear. That's been my entire life is focusing way too much on fear. Focusing on how things can go wrong instead of how they can go right. If there's a part of me that's still afraid, I need to persuade it through all this. Pushing it doesn't work.
I've realized a lot of this fear is based on past experiences. When I would be myself and people lost interest in me, being afraid to form relationships deeper than surface level because I was afraid of the inevitable disappointment. I've noticed every time I've tried to work through this I get the urge to distract myself with something. It just seems like this is a very strong survival tactic from my subconscious. Even though I have formed good relationships with people, it still lingers in my mind and makes me do some stupid stuff at times. Whats interesting is part of me would rather be lonely and isolated vs potentially encountering these situations again. And throughout it all my mind will convince me there's nothing really wrong it's just "who I am".
The funny thing about overcoming fears. You really only move past them when all parts of your mind agree there's nothing to be afraid of. Otherwise you can push past the fear and still have a part in disagreement. The key to overcoming fear is not facing the fear itself, but understanding what triggers the fear in the first place and addressing that. Seeing as how I've faced fears for most my life, I feel as if I never really moved past them so much as held them back or delayed them. That's why if I don't remain persistent I can slip up. But that's not how I want to live my life, battling back fear.
I've realized a lot of this fear is based on past experiences. When I would be myself and people lost interest in me, being afraid to form relationships deeper than surface level because I was afraid of the inevitable disappointment. I've noticed every time I've tried to work through this I get the urge to distract myself with something. It just seems like this is a very strong survival tactic from my subconscious. Even though I have formed good relationships with people, it still lingers in my mind and makes me do some stupid stuff at times. Whats interesting is part of me would rather be lonely and isolated vs potentially encountering these situations again. And throughout it all my mind will convince me there's nothing really wrong it's just "who I am".
The funny thing about overcoming fears. You really only move past them when all parts of your mind agree there's nothing to be afraid of. Otherwise you can push past the fear and still have a part in disagreement. The key to overcoming fear is not facing the fear itself, but understanding what triggers the fear in the first place and addressing that. Seeing as how I've faced fears for most my life, I feel as if I never really moved past them so much as held them back or delayed them. That's why if I don't remain persistent I can slip up. But that's not how I want to live my life, battling back fear.
INFP
