06-14-2018, 03:45 AM
So I'm definitely making progress, but it really hit me yesterday, the disconnect between what I understand consciously vs subconsciously. This whole not good enough thing. I understand it has no basis, but I still feel it. It's the little things I notice that makes me realize I still operate out of this belief on a sort of instinctual level. The small ways in which it's like I'm still fighting against myself. It's like I force myself to move forward, but then I stop and think how much energy I expend just pushing against a part that is essential me.
The difference now being I don't accept it as the truth. But I feel I still need to acknowledge it and heal from it somehow. Asking why doesn't really seem to help. It's kind of like this part of me is just stuck and hurt and needs encouragement on an empathetic level. But it's really buried in my mind, it gets to the point where I think to myself "am I making this up?" That's how out of touch I am with this piece of myself
The difference now being I don't accept it as the truth. But I feel I still need to acknowledge it and heal from it somehow. Asking why doesn't really seem to help. It's kind of like this part of me is just stuck and hurt and needs encouragement on an empathetic level. But it's really buried in my mind, it gets to the point where I think to myself "am I making this up?" That's how out of touch I am with this piece of myself
INFP
