04-30-2018, 12:42 AM
(04-29-2018, 07:59 AM)mat422 Wrote: So the letting go process. I wanted it to be nice and clean and easy. But that was an expectation. And that very expectations prevented me from unlocking the more deeply held emotions within me. But in a way I guess some part of me wanted to protect myself from these painful feelings.
Letting go. Serious stuff for me personally, even talking with my mom yesterday about childhood habits of resisting change........ I asked her to see how habitual I was at it.
And yesterday I was reminded of a conversation Shannon had with someone in his journal. A guy said he only had positive results when he was tired, and it made no sense to him. Shannon........said when he was tired he had no energy to resist. DMSI worked then.
And yesterday I was tired and a bit grumpy. You know what? With only TID I'm experiencing now, I'm seeing attraction from strangers. No kidding. And I felt it.
I get in my own way, constantly. My control clashes with DMSI's effects. Even on E2, I had tight control the first 2 months on it, knowing something just wasn't working. When I've run it these last 2 times, I've thought "f*** it", and just let it go. This is when its affects really hit me, tears coming regularly.
I just thought I'd pass this on. Even Zane has run subs, stopped for a week or two, then came back and had success.
My control holds up sub progress
I want to be FREE!