04-07-2018, 05:40 AM
Had a good dream last night. Just a bunch of women having interest in me and me feeling ok with being sexual around them. It's not outward results, but honestly the fact that I struggled to even dream about this stuff just shows how blocked I am to having it in my reality.
I'm going to be trying harder to think positive and stop with the endless streams of negative thoughts. Every time I have tried this in the past I'd get thoughts like "this is pointless" or "positive thinking doesn't work" and I believed them. I think healing and clearing is important, but the mind has to have a focus. For me I've realized that the negative beliefs I let go of have to be replaced with something else. Otherwise I just continue old habits and create more negativity.
A lesson I've learned, and it was a hard lesson, is that no matter how much better you feel you can ALWAYS make yourself feel worse. The mind can create any mental state you want and if you've practiced feeling miserable, weak, and helpless for as long as I have it becomes as natural as breathing. So it's important to evaluate when you're actually healing things that need healing vs spiraling into a negative thought pattern. I've been very obsessed with finding some root cause or deep underlying emotional pain I need to heal, but I was basically just creating a narrative I followed. So what was really happening was a negative thought loop, oh more healing is needed, perpetuate that negative thought loop failing to realize I was the one creating it and it wasn't manifesting from some buried emotional issue.
In short I am detaching from the negative. All that remains now are very bad habits that regenerate old emotional issues and belief structures. At this point I have to just reject those thoughts because they no longer serve me and focus on replacing them with the positive. Breaking that cycle of this is how it's always been so it must be the truth.
I'm going to be trying harder to think positive and stop with the endless streams of negative thoughts. Every time I have tried this in the past I'd get thoughts like "this is pointless" or "positive thinking doesn't work" and I believed them. I think healing and clearing is important, but the mind has to have a focus. For me I've realized that the negative beliefs I let go of have to be replaced with something else. Otherwise I just continue old habits and create more negativity.
A lesson I've learned, and it was a hard lesson, is that no matter how much better you feel you can ALWAYS make yourself feel worse. The mind can create any mental state you want and if you've practiced feeling miserable, weak, and helpless for as long as I have it becomes as natural as breathing. So it's important to evaluate when you're actually healing things that need healing vs spiraling into a negative thought pattern. I've been very obsessed with finding some root cause or deep underlying emotional pain I need to heal, but I was basically just creating a narrative I followed. So what was really happening was a negative thought loop, oh more healing is needed, perpetuate that negative thought loop failing to realize I was the one creating it and it wasn't manifesting from some buried emotional issue.
In short I am detaching from the negative. All that remains now are very bad habits that regenerate old emotional issues and belief structures. At this point I have to just reject those thoughts because they no longer serve me and focus on replacing them with the positive. Breaking that cycle of this is how it's always been so it must be the truth.
INFP
