(03-08-2018, 07:48 AM)Determined Wrote:(03-08-2018, 06:52 AM)Raykon Wrote:(03-07-2018, 11:01 PM)Determined Wrote: I also want to add this in here for you Raykon
Sometimes what seems like to right answer is actually what perpetuates the paradigm. For instance, I've noticed that your response to either a rejection or a bad turn of events with a woman is to "hit the gym and get bigger" i.e more aggression.
Whilst being caveman is incredibly attractive to a woman, it's only attractive to one part of her brain - the reptilian brain. You still have to appeal to the mammalian brain (complex emotions including comfort) and the human brain (prefrontal cortex related to executive function).
In a similar vein, the PUA paradigm and the "nice guy" paradigm also loop back in on themselves and perpetuate the problem. PUA's resolve to learn more game and to game more women and nice guys resolve to be even nicer when they don't get what they want.
In relation to your dream, your action of avoiding death is exactly what is perpetuating your current situation. Everything else that followed was a result of that choice. Sometimes we're terrified of changing who we are because we're so accustomed to the security of who we've been.
I'd presume DMSI is calling upon you to transform yourself hence the subconscious communication through dreams. I'd take that as a solid sign of progress.
I agree with you about how i'm aggressive, The gym helps me get mind off stuff when I'm depressed, but also even though I appear very masculine to women, due to my body language, high test low estrogen and because I prefer to be masculine now.
I still have that femininity within me, it comes out when I have stronger feelings for woman, it's impossible for me to hide it completely. So I still have the ability to create strong comfort and connection in that way.
I definitely imagine I spike up the reptillian part of the brain the most right off the bat because of my strong animal magnetism, looks, and extremely high test. But I don't lose that emotional / feminine side of me completely ever.
How would you reccomend I be more balanced? and is balanced even neccessary? I'm into extremely feminine woman, so i wanted to be extremely masculine.
Lol, I'm not really talking about masculine and feminine (though they're very important). I think you may have misunderstood the mammalian brain for "feminine" and "repitilian" for masculine.
The reptilian brain is purely base and primal emotions. I've noticed you do a good job of arousing that right of the bat. You're also very aware of this which is why it seems to be a prominent part of your strategy.
Where I've seen you go wrong is that you use this when you shouldn't be. Like using a hammer when a screwdriver is needed.
In one instance from reading your journal, you were being caveman over text when what she really wanted was to build some comfort (mammalian) hence why she ended up flaking on you later. You resolved to hit the gym and get bigger which seemed like a paradigm loop (attract women through caveman, goes bad, do more of what attracted her).
You being sensitive isn't the same as building comfort. Building comfort and trust (mammalian brain) is about how she feels about you. The double edge of aggression is she might feel unsafe or be hesitant to commit.
Jada Pinkett Smith said it best in an interview, she wants that "intellectual gangster", a guy who can go to an Ice Cube concert one night and have dinner with the president the next. I.e can go caveman in one context and be intelligent and courteous in another.
The other part is the pre-frontal cortex which is the human brain. It's all about executive function. If you're 7 hours into a date, can she see herself having a future with you? Can she see herself introducing you to her friends and family or even telling her friends about you. A guy whose caveman 100% of the time would be a complete turn off to a woman in this regard.
In summary, what you do really well is spiking the reptilian part initially. Where I've seen you fall down is not transitioning or utilising the other two enough. If you can be a well mannered gent in public and an absolute caveman behind closed doors, she'll love you forever.
That's some great advice I really appreciate it. I think your slightly underestimating the amount of comfort I used on that particular woman (we would text for hours straight some nights mainly comfort game with some attraction sexual innuendo and humor spikes thrown in.
but i agree with you though that I focused too much perhaps on the attraction and aggressive style gaming when I could have used more comfort so she gained more trust and connection with me.
She even told me that I'm too "up and down" and that she doesn't want to be my friend because even as a friend she wants "stability and consistincys" I would be warm and friendly and another moment later i would be a complete asshole/aggressive/indifferent
It was my own ego and lack of emotional control that led to me behaving in that way. In the future i'm just going to react by not reacting (doing nothing) instead of texting or calling in a angry or upset state of mind.
I also showed weakness at the end because after i would be an asshole i'd regret it and start apoligizing and expressing vulnerability. The first two times I did this it was okay and she still really liked me and forgave me for my mistakes.
But the last time I did it she lost all attraction for me.
this was my biggest LOSS (perfect 10/10 with a personality I really vibed with) but i also learned the most from this situation.