03-10-2018, 04:35 AM
Note to myself, starting 2nd round or DMSI (March 10th 2018), gotta listen till Friday, March 23rd, 2018, and take day off on Saturday, March 24th, 2018.
Last night was pretty busy with many international phone calls to make. Thus, I couldn't report interesting observations I made yesterday.
Yesterday, I went out with my mom for grocery shopping and lunch after my workout. Here are some things I found interesting.
1. Baby/Toddler. Like previous versions, I did get quite a bit of stares from babies and toddlers. The difference was that I got stare from girls, not boys. Previously, I also got stares from boys. This time, nope. I shall observe more in the future to see if this is a new thing, or it was some stuff that just happened yesterday.
2. My staring breasts. Well, I did see a few girls who were in my age group (or a big younger). One girl I saw was working at ice cream/coffee shop, and she had relatively larger breasts than other girls in this country, and the shape was better looking (or more fitting to my taste.) I didn't realize at the moment (I realized this last night), but I did look at the breasts for quite a bit of time. (I don't think others have noticed, which is probably a good thing in the middle of Me Too storm in this country.)
This is not typical of me, as I may glance at great looking breasts, but I don't think I have ever stared at them for extended period of time.
3. Feeling turned off on girls wearing wrong size bra, or unfit bra. I saw several girls at the mall wearing wrong size or unfit bra. The shape that wrong bra made on the girls were huge turn off to me. (Not that any of them were particularly attractive regardless of the breasts/bra). I was thinking to my self "Geez girls. You gotta get yourself checked at a good underwear store. Get your self some nice fitted bra with right size. That'll make you whole a lot better looking."
4. My staring ass. This was a girl that I saw at a bread store. She was one of the ones that wore a wrong bra. However, she was wearing a tight jean, and had relatively great ass compared to many girls here. I didn't realize at the time, but I stared at the girls ass for extended period of time. (Again, I realized this last night.) Just like breasts, I may have glanced at women's ass before, but yesterday, I stared, and my eyes, head and neck was tracking that ass. (Which is both good and bad. (Bad in the sense of potentially getting myself into trouble in the midst of Me Too movement.))
Another thing that I notice (including my experience with previous DMSI) is that I am starting to like women's ass more. (Only if they are great, of course.) Before, I was only drawn to women's great breasts, but now, I am liking women's ass, a lot. I think I was turning from my very first DMSI run, which would be 2.x version.
5. Giggling girls. It was a one time thing, and this happened when I was in the line ordering coffee. (Yes, that was where that great breast girl was). The opposite to the store was a convenience store in which there was nobody, except two girls working. I may be mistaken, but I think/feel that the girls saw me from a distance and starting to talk to each other, and then both started to giggle. I may be totally wrong, and it could be absolutely nothing. Yet, I heard that girls especially young ones would look at each other, start to giggle, after seeing an attractive guy. I can tell you that I was the only guy around that area, so who knows they may have found me attractive. Besides, these girls would have been late teenage to early twenties. Maybe they have told great jokes at each other, so who knows. But my gut tells me that they have found me attractive. At the same time, I know that guys (like myself) can and tend to over take/overthink absolutely unimportant girls action/reaction. So I am not going to take this with great importance. Nonetheless, I find it interesting to have observed this. I got this behavior quite a lot when I was a teenager and in early twenties.
6. Being more proactive. At the grocery store at the mall, my mom and I had some difficulty finding things. Normally we would try to look for stuff for a while, and then ask for help. This time, I didn't bother spending much time, but decided to take direct approach, and asked a woman working there. The woman answered my question, but was somewhat rude. Interesting, I really haven't gotten any rude behavior before. I don't know if I like it, but I hear that it's potentially a sign that I am showing lots of male energy. Either way, I think my experience with my cousin (yes the ski trip) made me to be more proactive and take initiative.
7. Acting more manly. I think it may be related to point 6, but I realized that I acted more manly. For instance, I pulled my mom inside when car was coming from behind, and I think I did it in a very manly/masculine way. It's not something I wouldn't do or I would never do, yet the way I did felt much more natural, and masculine.
These are stuff I noticed at the mall.
I also have some things to report from gym end. It's nearly 2 months, but not fully two months. Therefore, it's not unusual to not find any significant improvement, but I did find something interesting.
1. My strength improved, (which is unsurprising as I pretty much began from nothing) but my physical appearance doesn't seem to show any change. That's what I noticed. Perhaps, I'm like Bruce Lee in a way that I don't build huge bulks, but rather my muscle quality increases with workout. Who knows.
2. My trainer's reaction to the point I made above. I basically mentioned the previous point, and the trainer was like, "well, you look actually strong, you look like a guy with strength/power" And I was like, "really?" Look at my arm, it still looks the same as before (although strength definitely improved). The guy wasn't assertive about the point. It felt as if he sorta wanted to agree with me, or not try to argue with me. At the same time, he made a last point that I am a lot stronger than how I see/think about myself and my strength. (Which he said after I finished my 1 minute plank, which was setting new record. Yes, it was hard and tough, but I did it, without too much hassle.)
3. Trainer being friendly. We got to talk about some booze and food, and he invited me. Nothing unusual, or overtly interesting, but I thought to report.
4. My body strengths. This is not related to DMSI, but I did get to understand my body better. For instance, the trainer told me that my legs are exceptional (or my lower body in general is exceptional. The trainer told me that if he expected 1 from me, I gave 7 or 8 from my lower body), shoulder's superb, especially the rate at which it grows. My big muscles (like chest and back) are good too, but I find that it's not growing at a rate that it can, because my arm (hand, forearm, biceps, and triceps) are too weak compared to these muscles. My core's good too. (Well, it's getting to a point that I can start SolidCore, if was in the US.) In general I got to learn and understand about my body much during these time.
Last night's phone call was also showed something interesting.
1. PayPal customer service experience. One of the places I had to call was PayPal, as it's locking me out due to the region lock. (My emails were the same, and the regional restrictions was the one that fucked me up with academics as I had so much trouble accessing my email account, such that I had too much difficulty contacting professors, and any other related people that it messed up with my final paper such that I couldn't get my degree (to summarize the issue short) All of these remind me some conspiracy theory that eventually travel would become highly controlled and restricted. It's quite applicable to my case at least. So annoying. Protection from identity theft and fraud is hurting me. LOL). I had to call PayPal three times to basically fully understand the situation.
The first time, it was a guy who picked up a phone. He was rushed, rude, and in the worst point, he hanged me up even before I finished my point. This never happened to me before, and in fact it was one of the worst phone call experience I ever had. (Besides, I always do my best to treat the customer service rep. with utmost respect and manner, even if they were to be rude, and the problems are all on their end.)
On the other hand, later two calls were with women, one older and the other younger, and they all went out of their way to help resolve my issues. They were quite nice too. Unfortunately, the issue hasn't been resolved, but I sorta know what needs to be done. (Nonetheless, annoying and nearly impossible to resolve issue.)
I also had to call my bank, but I didn't have issues with the guy on the phone. He was quite nice as well.
In summary, I am starting to see a pattern such that some people are nicer to me, while some are treating me badly (or rudely). Previously, most, if not all the people were nice to me. It's like in the past, everybody was mediocre to a bit nice to me, now it has become more polarized to a point that some are bad, while some are really nice.
One potential reverse resistance I want to report is that I cut pretty much all porn and looking at celebrity pictures. However, there is one girl that I am sorta following. I don't spend much time, but I am still doing it. What's interesting about this girl is that she's more realistic in seeing in person, and actually meet than others, but nonetheless, I don't know her in person, so it's still a waste of time.
The other potential reverse resistance is that I masturbated last night. Well, it's longer than my previous habit, but my abstinence only lasted four days, so it isn't all that great. The odd thing was that I didn't feel really like doing it, but I did it for the sake of doing it. (I don't know why I did it.) Yes, I used porn to help, but I found it boring. Another thing that was interesting was that the masturbation didn't really give me pleasures, despite having much semen ejaculated. (I noticed that it usually gives me much more pleasure if I have much semen ejaculated. )
Back to potentially good thing or neutral thing, I found that I had a small dream of having a sex with a woman who has a good body (not great, but good), pretty much right before I fell into a deep sleep. Also it was a nap, not a night sleep. Another thing I noticed is that I usually lie down flat on stomach, and it somehow gives me erection, desire to have sex (I suppose in the missionary position), imagination of having sex, and etc.
I shall try to resist the reversal resistance. It may be easy, or may not be so easy. Still, I'm gonna try. Cutting porn has been relatively easy, as it's becoming very boring, and it doesn't turn me on. Apart from that specific girl I found online, I don't really look at any other girls' picture. Masturbation may be more difficult, but at least there is a good sign that my abstinence lasted longer than previous case (2 days), so it's looking good. After all, I gotta take one step at a time, and I am not in a rush to get to the goal. I am relaxed in reaching the goal, so it's all cool.
For some reason (or based on what I have experienced), I have a feeling that within a year, at the longest, I would probably get a girlfriend, if not get laid also. I don't know, it's the feeling I have. Although I am having reversal resistance and not executing the script fully, I have a feeling that it will be pretty soon that I will reach my and DMSI's goal.
Last night was pretty busy with many international phone calls to make. Thus, I couldn't report interesting observations I made yesterday.
Yesterday, I went out with my mom for grocery shopping and lunch after my workout. Here are some things I found interesting.
1. Baby/Toddler. Like previous versions, I did get quite a bit of stares from babies and toddlers. The difference was that I got stare from girls, not boys. Previously, I also got stares from boys. This time, nope. I shall observe more in the future to see if this is a new thing, or it was some stuff that just happened yesterday.
2. My staring breasts. Well, I did see a few girls who were in my age group (or a big younger). One girl I saw was working at ice cream/coffee shop, and she had relatively larger breasts than other girls in this country, and the shape was better looking (or more fitting to my taste.) I didn't realize at the moment (I realized this last night), but I did look at the breasts for quite a bit of time. (I don't think others have noticed, which is probably a good thing in the middle of Me Too storm in this country.)
This is not typical of me, as I may glance at great looking breasts, but I don't think I have ever stared at them for extended period of time.
3. Feeling turned off on girls wearing wrong size bra, or unfit bra. I saw several girls at the mall wearing wrong size or unfit bra. The shape that wrong bra made on the girls were huge turn off to me. (Not that any of them were particularly attractive regardless of the breasts/bra). I was thinking to my self "Geez girls. You gotta get yourself checked at a good underwear store. Get your self some nice fitted bra with right size. That'll make you whole a lot better looking."
4. My staring ass. This was a girl that I saw at a bread store. She was one of the ones that wore a wrong bra. However, she was wearing a tight jean, and had relatively great ass compared to many girls here. I didn't realize at the time, but I stared at the girls ass for extended period of time. (Again, I realized this last night.) Just like breasts, I may have glanced at women's ass before, but yesterday, I stared, and my eyes, head and neck was tracking that ass. (Which is both good and bad. (Bad in the sense of potentially getting myself into trouble in the midst of Me Too movement.))
Another thing that I notice (including my experience with previous DMSI) is that I am starting to like women's ass more. (Only if they are great, of course.) Before, I was only drawn to women's great breasts, but now, I am liking women's ass, a lot. I think I was turning from my very first DMSI run, which would be 2.x version.
5. Giggling girls. It was a one time thing, and this happened when I was in the line ordering coffee. (Yes, that was where that great breast girl was). The opposite to the store was a convenience store in which there was nobody, except two girls working. I may be mistaken, but I think/feel that the girls saw me from a distance and starting to talk to each other, and then both started to giggle. I may be totally wrong, and it could be absolutely nothing. Yet, I heard that girls especially young ones would look at each other, start to giggle, after seeing an attractive guy. I can tell you that I was the only guy around that area, so who knows they may have found me attractive. Besides, these girls would have been late teenage to early twenties. Maybe they have told great jokes at each other, so who knows. But my gut tells me that they have found me attractive. At the same time, I know that guys (like myself) can and tend to over take/overthink absolutely unimportant girls action/reaction. So I am not going to take this with great importance. Nonetheless, I find it interesting to have observed this. I got this behavior quite a lot when I was a teenager and in early twenties.
6. Being more proactive. At the grocery store at the mall, my mom and I had some difficulty finding things. Normally we would try to look for stuff for a while, and then ask for help. This time, I didn't bother spending much time, but decided to take direct approach, and asked a woman working there. The woman answered my question, but was somewhat rude. Interesting, I really haven't gotten any rude behavior before. I don't know if I like it, but I hear that it's potentially a sign that I am showing lots of male energy. Either way, I think my experience with my cousin (yes the ski trip) made me to be more proactive and take initiative.
7. Acting more manly. I think it may be related to point 6, but I realized that I acted more manly. For instance, I pulled my mom inside when car was coming from behind, and I think I did it in a very manly/masculine way. It's not something I wouldn't do or I would never do, yet the way I did felt much more natural, and masculine.
These are stuff I noticed at the mall.
I also have some things to report from gym end. It's nearly 2 months, but not fully two months. Therefore, it's not unusual to not find any significant improvement, but I did find something interesting.
1. My strength improved, (which is unsurprising as I pretty much began from nothing) but my physical appearance doesn't seem to show any change. That's what I noticed. Perhaps, I'm like Bruce Lee in a way that I don't build huge bulks, but rather my muscle quality increases with workout. Who knows.
2. My trainer's reaction to the point I made above. I basically mentioned the previous point, and the trainer was like, "well, you look actually strong, you look like a guy with strength/power" And I was like, "really?" Look at my arm, it still looks the same as before (although strength definitely improved). The guy wasn't assertive about the point. It felt as if he sorta wanted to agree with me, or not try to argue with me. At the same time, he made a last point that I am a lot stronger than how I see/think about myself and my strength. (Which he said after I finished my 1 minute plank, which was setting new record. Yes, it was hard and tough, but I did it, without too much hassle.)
3. Trainer being friendly. We got to talk about some booze and food, and he invited me. Nothing unusual, or overtly interesting, but I thought to report.
4. My body strengths. This is not related to DMSI, but I did get to understand my body better. For instance, the trainer told me that my legs are exceptional (or my lower body in general is exceptional. The trainer told me that if he expected 1 from me, I gave 7 or 8 from my lower body), shoulder's superb, especially the rate at which it grows. My big muscles (like chest and back) are good too, but I find that it's not growing at a rate that it can, because my arm (hand, forearm, biceps, and triceps) are too weak compared to these muscles. My core's good too. (Well, it's getting to a point that I can start SolidCore, if was in the US.) In general I got to learn and understand about my body much during these time.
Last night's phone call was also showed something interesting.
1. PayPal customer service experience. One of the places I had to call was PayPal, as it's locking me out due to the region lock. (My emails were the same, and the regional restrictions was the one that fucked me up with academics as I had so much trouble accessing my email account, such that I had too much difficulty contacting professors, and any other related people that it messed up with my final paper such that I couldn't get my degree (to summarize the issue short) All of these remind me some conspiracy theory that eventually travel would become highly controlled and restricted. It's quite applicable to my case at least. So annoying. Protection from identity theft and fraud is hurting me. LOL). I had to call PayPal three times to basically fully understand the situation.
The first time, it was a guy who picked up a phone. He was rushed, rude, and in the worst point, he hanged me up even before I finished my point. This never happened to me before, and in fact it was one of the worst phone call experience I ever had. (Besides, I always do my best to treat the customer service rep. with utmost respect and manner, even if they were to be rude, and the problems are all on their end.)
On the other hand, later two calls were with women, one older and the other younger, and they all went out of their way to help resolve my issues. They were quite nice too. Unfortunately, the issue hasn't been resolved, but I sorta know what needs to be done. (Nonetheless, annoying and nearly impossible to resolve issue.)
I also had to call my bank, but I didn't have issues with the guy on the phone. He was quite nice as well.
In summary, I am starting to see a pattern such that some people are nicer to me, while some are treating me badly (or rudely). Previously, most, if not all the people were nice to me. It's like in the past, everybody was mediocre to a bit nice to me, now it has become more polarized to a point that some are bad, while some are really nice.
One potential reverse resistance I want to report is that I cut pretty much all porn and looking at celebrity pictures. However, there is one girl that I am sorta following. I don't spend much time, but I am still doing it. What's interesting about this girl is that she's more realistic in seeing in person, and actually meet than others, but nonetheless, I don't know her in person, so it's still a waste of time.
The other potential reverse resistance is that I masturbated last night. Well, it's longer than my previous habit, but my abstinence only lasted four days, so it isn't all that great. The odd thing was that I didn't feel really like doing it, but I did it for the sake of doing it. (I don't know why I did it.) Yes, I used porn to help, but I found it boring. Another thing that was interesting was that the masturbation didn't really give me pleasures, despite having much semen ejaculated. (I noticed that it usually gives me much more pleasure if I have much semen ejaculated. )
Back to potentially good thing or neutral thing, I found that I had a small dream of having a sex with a woman who has a good body (not great, but good), pretty much right before I fell into a deep sleep. Also it was a nap, not a night sleep. Another thing I noticed is that I usually lie down flat on stomach, and it somehow gives me erection, desire to have sex (I suppose in the missionary position), imagination of having sex, and etc.
I shall try to resist the reversal resistance. It may be easy, or may not be so easy. Still, I'm gonna try. Cutting porn has been relatively easy, as it's becoming very boring, and it doesn't turn me on. Apart from that specific girl I found online, I don't really look at any other girls' picture. Masturbation may be more difficult, but at least there is a good sign that my abstinence lasted longer than previous case (2 days), so it's looking good. After all, I gotta take one step at a time, and I am not in a rush to get to the goal. I am relaxed in reaching the goal, so it's all cool.
For some reason (or based on what I have experienced), I have a feeling that within a year, at the longest, I would probably get a girlfriend, if not get laid also. I don't know, it's the feeling I have. Although I am having reversal resistance and not executing the script fully, I have a feeling that it will be pretty soon that I will reach my and DMSI's goal.
