So the last few days, the tiredness wow! Switched over to the hybrid track last night and got about 9 hours sleep and was still tired today. The dreams last night were intense, I can't remember them but I do remember waking up this morning going that was a very intense night.
The previous night and yesterday saw some insecurity and neediness popping up. Had a girl approach me online (she's not what I find attractive) and within about 30 minutes we were talking sex and she was sending nudes, about an hour later she kept pushing to meet up and have sex (she was willing to drive 1.5 hours to meetup). I was seriously considering it the night before out of neediness but then by the next night had reminded myself why I'm doing this for "quality over quantity" of course both would be best
The girl from the other week has been a bit less cherry towards me (could well be because she's started back at uni and is working nights as well). Initially yesterday this was really bothering me but after my loop I've been able to let this go to a large degree and just roll with what will be is what will be.
The porn and masturbation side as I have been talking about it is strange. It feels like i'm in this in-between place I can feel a need or desire for it but when I look at porn it doesn't have the same affect (doesn't turn me on) and masturbation is definitely not as enjoyable.
I'm pretty sure at this point in time I'm working through some heavy shit so will be interesting to see if the wall can break through it. It's all coming up a lot quicker than previously with subs where it may have taken 2 weeks and it's definitely not as intense as with other subs.
Edit: one other thing I've noticed is a bit more muscle definition starting to come up over the last few days. Just got to clean up my eating after the last few weeks and should have a six pack in a month or so for the first time in 17 years
The previous night and yesterday saw some insecurity and neediness popping up. Had a girl approach me online (she's not what I find attractive) and within about 30 minutes we were talking sex and she was sending nudes, about an hour later she kept pushing to meet up and have sex (she was willing to drive 1.5 hours to meetup). I was seriously considering it the night before out of neediness but then by the next night had reminded myself why I'm doing this for "quality over quantity" of course both would be best
The girl from the other week has been a bit less cherry towards me (could well be because she's started back at uni and is working nights as well). Initially yesterday this was really bothering me but after my loop I've been able to let this go to a large degree and just roll with what will be is what will be.
The porn and masturbation side as I have been talking about it is strange. It feels like i'm in this in-between place I can feel a need or desire for it but when I look at porn it doesn't have the same affect (doesn't turn me on) and masturbation is definitely not as enjoyable.
I'm pretty sure at this point in time I'm working through some heavy shit so will be interesting to see if the wall can break through it. It's all coming up a lot quicker than previously with subs where it may have taken 2 weeks and it's definitely not as intense as with other subs.
Edit: one other thing I've noticed is a bit more muscle definition starting to come up over the last few days. Just got to clean up my eating after the last few weeks and should have a six pack in a month or so for the first time in 17 years
The only person in life that can ever hold you back is yourself. So get out of your own way and start living the life you always dreamed of
