I've been back on DMSI for a week or two and I'm PISSED. I switched to E2 for a while because I needed some serious stress relief and relaxation. Well, that's not happening right now. I had thoughts of ragequiting DMSI today and I can feel it trying to give me a headache the more I stay mad. I'm too healthy to get a headache, but nice try, DMSI. I might as well vent here.
Went to the city today to run some errands, which I do once a month or so. Besides that, I'm pretty much a recluse out here in da country. OK, now what was I feeling today...
First off, I saw women driving and that PISSED ME OFF. Saw women in a luxury cars and Mercedes SUVs. PISSED OFF. I know luxury cars. I rolled a $100k supercar off the lot when I was 21. Drove it so hard I lost my license, then I drove it some more, and then I traded it in for a 4x4. Yeah, that car got me some female groupies. Still, I was more about the car than them and I never really took advantage of those girls or their lust for me and my material possessions so remained a virgin LOL woops. Women can never appreciate nice cars like that. To them cars are only a snobby status symbol. I need a trust fund girlfriend who will let me drive her sportscar. COMEON, DMSI!
(I also saw some Amish people crossing the highway today and they are smart because they don't let females drive their horse buggies. I would probably feel a lot manlier and live a more satisfying life if I was Amish. Too bad I'm addicted to soulsucking technology.)
Second, I went to get a massage because it's a long drive to that city and a good way to treat myself after sitting down for so long. I go to the Chinese places because if some obnoxious obese American woman touched me for an hour I'd probably puke. Usually these places aren't as prude and you can get a more sensual massage. This time, I did not. The small younger girl who was supposed to massage me was scared of me I think and switched out for an 70 year old grandma WTF. It was a very rough unsatisfactory massage. I've had A LOT of fun in those places - NOT THIS TIME. I think they are getting paranoid because police have been trying to raid them for human trafficking or something. Really, it's the PURITAN PUSSY CARTEL cracking down on healthy outlets for men - all part of the prostitution hysteria in this country - to oppress male sexuality and attempt to raise the SMV of unpleasant American women.
So after I get this massage is when I started to get SUPER PISSED. Why am I paying some immigrants for such a shitty massage? WTF my only human touch in a month is some old Chinese woman beating on me? MAN I'M PISSED. FUCK SOCIETY. I feel like a third class citizen here. Seriously, I have no reason to contribute to such a society. I wish arranged marriages were still a thing. Maybe I really should petition the Amish... If DMSI could manifest me a HEALTHY ATTRACTIVE gf to practice and learn the art of massage with that would be just great since I could see that being a passion of mine. It's not even about sex, just human contact.
Now I'm feeling really fucking impotent. I could hardly even assert myself with the old Chinese woman and tipped her too much - totally unnecessary. Feeling like a tiger in a cage. Like I have no volition or willpower. Can't even talk to store clerks properly, like I'm holding myself back, my voice is weak, too scared to express myself or any emotion. If I ran ASC 5G that might help me, because I need that IN-YOUR-FACE CONFIDENCE WHERE YOU YELL AT EVERYONE. I know girls in their prime are drawn to that shallow superficial confidence. A girl being a judge of character? YEAH RIGHT!
I'm hitting up some organic food groceries. I'm seeing young attractive women AND I'M SO PISSED. I couldn't even speak to the female clerk and was repulsed by her attitude so I storm out of there with my items. A cute strawberry blonde girl with a really nice ass is at the door on my way out and I blow past her, she then gets in her van next to my truck after giving me a butt display. She looks as unfulfilled as I am with her cell phone. I'll just brood here in my car some more. That didn't work. I thought women like the dark brooding types and love to fix bad boys? Heh...
I went to another organic grocery today and had a pregnant woman stare at me in the parking lot (not going to lie, I do love pregnant women). Got another ass display in the parking lot. When I see women in revealing or form fitting clothing I get pissed. When I see couples, I get slightly less pissed. My final IOI for the day was an obese female cashier staring at me and flipping her hair in a self-absorbed way which MADE ME SICK. UGH! The most pleasant interaction I had was with a chubby gay male cashier who was ringing me up and talking about ripening bananas. That gay guy was 1000x more interesting and engaging than any woman - but I ain't gay, bro.
(I might have to turn gay, though. Purely out of desperation. Being gay raises your status in this culture since it hates virile heterosexual white men. If I wasn't driven to become self-sufficient in the countryside I would likely be in a city trying to find acceptance and a good time in the gay bar scene. LOL!)
Went to the city today to run some errands, which I do once a month or so. Besides that, I'm pretty much a recluse out here in da country. OK, now what was I feeling today...
First off, I saw women driving and that PISSED ME OFF. Saw women in a luxury cars and Mercedes SUVs. PISSED OFF. I know luxury cars. I rolled a $100k supercar off the lot when I was 21. Drove it so hard I lost my license, then I drove it some more, and then I traded it in for a 4x4. Yeah, that car got me some female groupies. Still, I was more about the car than them and I never really took advantage of those girls or their lust for me and my material possessions so remained a virgin LOL woops. Women can never appreciate nice cars like that. To them cars are only a snobby status symbol. I need a trust fund girlfriend who will let me drive her sportscar. COMEON, DMSI!
(I also saw some Amish people crossing the highway today and they are smart because they don't let females drive their horse buggies. I would probably feel a lot manlier and live a more satisfying life if I was Amish. Too bad I'm addicted to soulsucking technology.)
Second, I went to get a massage because it's a long drive to that city and a good way to treat myself after sitting down for so long. I go to the Chinese places because if some obnoxious obese American woman touched me for an hour I'd probably puke. Usually these places aren't as prude and you can get a more sensual massage. This time, I did not. The small younger girl who was supposed to massage me was scared of me I think and switched out for an 70 year old grandma WTF. It was a very rough unsatisfactory massage. I've had A LOT of fun in those places - NOT THIS TIME. I think they are getting paranoid because police have been trying to raid them for human trafficking or something. Really, it's the PURITAN PUSSY CARTEL cracking down on healthy outlets for men - all part of the prostitution hysteria in this country - to oppress male sexuality and attempt to raise the SMV of unpleasant American women.
So after I get this massage is when I started to get SUPER PISSED. Why am I paying some immigrants for such a shitty massage? WTF my only human touch in a month is some old Chinese woman beating on me? MAN I'M PISSED. FUCK SOCIETY. I feel like a third class citizen here. Seriously, I have no reason to contribute to such a society. I wish arranged marriages were still a thing. Maybe I really should petition the Amish... If DMSI could manifest me a HEALTHY ATTRACTIVE gf to practice and learn the art of massage with that would be just great since I could see that being a passion of mine. It's not even about sex, just human contact.
Now I'm feeling really fucking impotent. I could hardly even assert myself with the old Chinese woman and tipped her too much - totally unnecessary. Feeling like a tiger in a cage. Like I have no volition or willpower. Can't even talk to store clerks properly, like I'm holding myself back, my voice is weak, too scared to express myself or any emotion. If I ran ASC 5G that might help me, because I need that IN-YOUR-FACE CONFIDENCE WHERE YOU YELL AT EVERYONE. I know girls in their prime are drawn to that shallow superficial confidence. A girl being a judge of character? YEAH RIGHT!
I'm hitting up some organic food groceries. I'm seeing young attractive women AND I'M SO PISSED. I couldn't even speak to the female clerk and was repulsed by her attitude so I storm out of there with my items. A cute strawberry blonde girl with a really nice ass is at the door on my way out and I blow past her, she then gets in her van next to my truck after giving me a butt display. She looks as unfulfilled as I am with her cell phone. I'll just brood here in my car some more. That didn't work. I thought women like the dark brooding types and love to fix bad boys? Heh...
I went to another organic grocery today and had a pregnant woman stare at me in the parking lot (not going to lie, I do love pregnant women). Got another ass display in the parking lot. When I see women in revealing or form fitting clothing I get pissed. When I see couples, I get slightly less pissed. My final IOI for the day was an obese female cashier staring at me and flipping her hair in a self-absorbed way which MADE ME SICK. UGH! The most pleasant interaction I had was with a chubby gay male cashier who was ringing me up and talking about ripening bananas. That gay guy was 1000x more interesting and engaging than any woman - but I ain't gay, bro.
(I might have to turn gay, though. Purely out of desperation. Being gay raises your status in this culture since it hates virile heterosexual white men. If I wasn't driven to become self-sufficient in the countryside I would likely be in a city trying to find acceptance and a good time in the gay bar scene. LOL!)
