Today at the gym I had a, I think, arabic girl display overt signals of interest. Moving in my space, eye contact, 10 second butt display, giving the eyes, hair flips, neck exposure. Yesterday I had a strong loss of control, resulting in getting alcohol, which is very out kf character for me. Still struggling with strong anxiety and feeling downright tense and anxious. This has to go and getting angry at not acting on the oppurtunities pisses me off. I know its a matter of time before I will do it. At the gym I was aware but the anxiety/depression/unessyness and confusion is really harsh and is strongly in my body. Not to say its like hoovering on break down.
Notice aswell some blocks in my psyche I thought 2 runs of AM would have solved/dissolved which is anger expression. Like some helding back and unable to have the energy to let the rage come out is back. Wtf. So many re-encounters.
ION; this can become really killer. Lots of realisations have taken place. Attitude shifts, mentally and mastery. Coming to terns with unfiltered expression. I know its all damn easy to just go out and kill it, and its all blown out of huge proportion. Sex is easy. Its p to v and philosophical crap is inferior to triumphing ecperience a 1000 times. Im in a mix of anger, sadness and frustration, aswell as anxiety and fear. The joys. Fuck this shitty focus.
More and more women show interest. IOI's mean less and less to me. It feels dependent and permission seeking. Like 'needing' IOI's is limiting bs. Just go fucking in. Its my game, my stage and so much oppurtunity. Like a whole new level of game beyond women, applicable in everything. IOI's and all are dandy but they are no ultimate need.
Dealing with one-itis aswell.
Experienced deep connection that caused my body to go fully 'on' energy wise. Very surreal. No explanation needed. Notice a drop of the authority vibe in my social circle. Before one friend became tame and more 'in line of the hierachy'. Now he's starting to get a sort of attitude.
Communication is key. No difference between stage work and dog training. Dogs test just like girls/women. Its all the damn same.
Its a nice sub overal, yet feels not fully complete. Having fear of invalidating and resistance and re-occuring urges to run stage 7 AM6. Might run BIATBWS alongside AOS.
One 24 year old is teasing another 53 y/o is more and more touchy. The lost lead is re-engaging. Another is more mocking. Realisation of NGAF and just blantly go all in with like idc at all. Agressive right? Fuck hurt, considerations and hatefuck the shit out if her? Game oooon.
Also thinking of getting SM. I want to go full in, not being right and shit. I embraced death already and give no shits. If I go fully down so be it. Call it fanatic IDGAF. The fires make it stronger. I want to be more dominant again as I have the feeling of it slipping lately and have a idea ad to how it will be when running SM. Dominant sexual guy in all ways. Pursueing and being pursued. Might be a congrugence thing to me. I want next level dominance attraction.
Shifting towards more and more practice and applying directly including deeper goal setting. Game on.
Notice aswell some blocks in my psyche I thought 2 runs of AM would have solved/dissolved which is anger expression. Like some helding back and unable to have the energy to let the rage come out is back. Wtf. So many re-encounters.
ION; this can become really killer. Lots of realisations have taken place. Attitude shifts, mentally and mastery. Coming to terns with unfiltered expression. I know its all damn easy to just go out and kill it, and its all blown out of huge proportion. Sex is easy. Its p to v and philosophical crap is inferior to triumphing ecperience a 1000 times. Im in a mix of anger, sadness and frustration, aswell as anxiety and fear. The joys. Fuck this shitty focus.
More and more women show interest. IOI's mean less and less to me. It feels dependent and permission seeking. Like 'needing' IOI's is limiting bs. Just go fucking in. Its my game, my stage and so much oppurtunity. Like a whole new level of game beyond women, applicable in everything. IOI's and all are dandy but they are no ultimate need.
Dealing with one-itis aswell.
Experienced deep connection that caused my body to go fully 'on' energy wise. Very surreal. No explanation needed. Notice a drop of the authority vibe in my social circle. Before one friend became tame and more 'in line of the hierachy'. Now he's starting to get a sort of attitude.
Communication is key. No difference between stage work and dog training. Dogs test just like girls/women. Its all the damn same.
Its a nice sub overal, yet feels not fully complete. Having fear of invalidating and resistance and re-occuring urges to run stage 7 AM6. Might run BIATBWS alongside AOS.
One 24 year old is teasing another 53 y/o is more and more touchy. The lost lead is re-engaging. Another is more mocking. Realisation of NGAF and just blantly go all in with like idc at all. Agressive right? Fuck hurt, considerations and hatefuck the shit out if her? Game oooon.
Also thinking of getting SM. I want to go full in, not being right and shit. I embraced death already and give no shits. If I go fully down so be it. Call it fanatic IDGAF. The fires make it stronger. I want to be more dominant again as I have the feeling of it slipping lately and have a idea ad to how it will be when running SM. Dominant sexual guy in all ways. Pursueing and being pursued. Might be a congrugence thing to me. I want next level dominance attraction.
Shifting towards more and more practice and applying directly including deeper goal setting. Game on.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
